These past few months have really been a test for me and everyone around me. I have had challenge after challenge and I finally realized that sometimes you just have to let go of everything that is hindering you prospering in life. I hate to feel like I’m turning my back on people, but sometimes you have to look out for yourself. Anyone who is truly with you and cares about you would never, intentionally, put themselves at odds with you or do anything to purposefully throw you off of you’re A game. Some people keep you around because you’re beneficial but is it the same on both ends? You have to take a step back and look at how you are being treated. Every single favor that you do for others, would it be an issue if you ever needed one in return? If you sit long nights and listen to someone spill their truths and feelings, would they be a shoulder for you to cry on and tough times fell on you in the future? Are they a true friend in your presence and keep that same energy when they are around others? All of these questions will quickly show you who a friend to you is truly and who is just a peer or associate.
This is not an easy process though. Some of the closest people to you are the most toxic, so what do you do?
- Address the issue. Before you immediately get to cutting people off, have a conversation with them. Point out times that they have made you uncomfortable and give them the opportunity to explain. It is much easier to rid a problem when both parties are aware and understand from the root.
- Watch for changed behavior. It takes only a few seconds for someone to make a, seemingly, sincere apology but the actions afterwards will tell where their heart really is. What I’ve noticed is that people change freshly after these conversations because they are aware for the moment but soon resort back to their true nature. If that occurs, you have a harmful individual on your hands and you need to get outta there, NEOW!
3. Never blame yourself. Do not ever allow someone to place blame on you for voicing how they have hurt you or made you feel off. Don’t ever let someone tell you that you’re “too sensitive”. Whatever hurts you should be addressed immediately, and it is up to that person to do as they please with that information. They can either take note and make changes or dust it off and continue to be a poor friend to you. Either way it goes, it is not your fault.
4. Pray. I have come across people who honestly do not know how to treat people because they were never taught to take other’s feelings into consideration. I’m not condoning this, but I do understand. You can’t expect someone like that to change immediately because it takes a while for people to step aside a few these types of situations from someone else’s perspective. You can only take a step back and pray that their heart and mind align one day. Don’t get upset with yourself for not being able to adjust this person because at this point, it is out of your control.
Please take these tips in mind and remove all bad energy from around you to promote your own growth.