This week was my ex best friend’s birthday. I was awoken by an alarm she made for 8 am I could be the first one to call her, but I didn’t call her. The last I heard, she was done with me. We are in another pointless fight. This one has lasted about 6 months now. She is always mad at me for one reason or another. This time it’s because I agreed with someone she hates, and in our argument she insisted that we were never friends and that I’ve always been jealous of her (Trust me, I have nothing to be jealous of). I don’t know why all of my female friendships end like this. Since leaving high school, I have fallen out with all of my female friends multiple times and even those that I have made in college were short lived or closer to being acquaintances than true friendships. This observation leads me to ask: is it just me or are all female friendships doomed?
Forgive me for being a tad overly dramatic. Certainly there are friendship that last a lifetime. I am by no means trying to argue that girls can’t be friends, but it seems like female relationships in general are a lot more turbulent and drama filled than others. Even the older women that I have observed are all smiles in each other’s faces, but mutter how much they “can’t stand that bitch” once they leave. In my experience, I have noticed that most female friendships end in one of four ways:
1. Disillusionment: You were never friends to begin with. Yeah, you would gossip, hangout, and divulge your deepest, darkest secrets to one another, but she does the same with everyone else. Sorry, you are not special (and if you are really unlucky she’s probably after your man too).
2. Different paths: You have been friends since second grade, but now y’all are 23 and she has the same mentality that she did back then. You are advancing in life and she is completely stagnant. Unfortunately, you can’t bring her up with you, and she is only pulling you down. So you have to cut her loose, right?
3. “Upgrade”: They have found someone better than you to spend time with. This could be a new love interest or just someone that they have more in common with. Either way, you are yesterday’s news.
4. Sensitive ass: They always want you to apologize for something. They judge your life, but you can’t say a word about theirs with water works.You find yourself walking on eggshells in their presence. Frankly, you two just are not compatible.
I personally believe that this phenomenon is due to the fact that girls grow up thinking that they have to compete against one another. They want to be the cutest, the smartest, the best. This complex that is instilled in us at a young age makes us weary of other women, so even when we make connections and friendships with them, we laugh with one eye open. Keep your enemies closer, right? Well, what’s closer than a best friend?