We’ve all done it. You see your crush at the bar or at a party and you instantly grab the closest boy next to you and begin to shamelessly laugh and flirt, praying that the guy you really want to be with sees. It seems completely backwards that girls try to play it off that they are into other guys in order to get the guy to notice them, but it is the lesson that we have been taught since day one.
Throughout the many ups and downs of boyfriends and hookups, the one thing that has always been consistent is that boys are competitive and thrive off of the chase. After all, making him jealous will definitely make him realize how much he wants us, right? Maybe. Or maybe not.
Whether or not we realize it, the constant games we play with guys have become ingrained into our perplexing female brains, forever changing the ways we interact with the oh-so confusing male species. Think about it…playing hard to get seems to be an expected necessity and texting him first is a definite no. If he is dancing with another girl, it is absolutely a must to dance with another guy, even if you are not attracted to the poor fellow at all. Oh, and if he isn’t paying enough attention to you, don’t even think twice about planting one onto that semi-attractive baseball player right when crush boy, conveniently, glances in your direction. It is all a part of the game to make him want us, but does it really work?
A little jealousy is always a good thing, yes. It gives us ladies some self-confidence and shows “Prince Sorta Charming” that he doesn’t have us wrapped around his finger (even if he totally does). And true, maybe flirting with someone else will prompt him to say things he normally wouldn’t say or do things he normally wouldn’t do, but is it really because he genuinely likes you? Like I said, guys are competitive by nature. Perhaps he just wants to be the guy you go home with at the end of the night, but not the guy you see during the day. Maybe he just wants to boost his own ego and prove that he can snag you even when you are with someone else.
Regardless, at some point in the relationship, a very thin line has to be drawn, separating the confusing games from the cold, hard truth. After all, playing hard to get becomes exhausting for both you and the guy, and he will most likely give up if it continues on. Resisting the urge to text him can send mix signals and, if you don’t end up seeing him, instantly causes a major buzz kill. Even flirting with other people in front of him can get you into trouble.
So what do we do if our games are not full proof? What do we do if they completely backfire? Well…I don’t think I have an answer. I don’t think anyone does. Maybe we just need to go with our gut, trusting our female instincts because, let’s face it, we know when a guy is really into us (even if we don’t want to admit to the contrary). Maybe we just play the games, pray that they work, and go from there. Or maybe the absolute best thing we can do is to just be true to ourselves, creating that line and communicating. Confusing games can only take us so far in any type of relationship. The longer they continue, the more obvious it becomes that whatever is going on isn’t fully real. As hard as it might be to risk it all, the DTR talk might be the best bet. Don’t let a guy walk all over you or have you wrapped around his finger, but don’t subject yourself to being miserable in a back and fourth tug-of-war. Games were fun in the 3rd grade when, as mom would say, that boy was mean to you because he liked you, but the third grade is long gone. Stand your ground and tell him you’re done playing and maybe, just maybe, he will be done too.