Commitment can be complicated, especially in college. At the end of the day, people don’t want to be tied down. Couples break up before school starts, casual hook ups are common occurrences, and open relationships seem to be growing more and more popular. It seems silly to think that our generation suffers from “commitment phobia”, but people are always searching for what else is out there. After all, there just has to be someone else who is hotter, more athletic, smarter, and funnier than our previous catch. It is the chase that we thrive off of, the prospect of something even better than what we have now. Yet, this lack-of-commitment mentality can actually lead itself into a vicious cycle where heartbreak is almost always inevitable.
Just beginning my college career, I can already tell how easy it is to fall into the “Friends with Benefits” trap, sucked in by all the allure and potential of cute upperclassmen. As girls, we become emotionally invested very quickly and eventually, in time, most of us want something more. Guys, on the other hand, are very different. We’ve all heard it. “I just want something really casual.” “I’m not looking for a commitment.” “I don’t want to be tied down.” “Let’s keep this simple and just have fun.” At the time, it seems to all make sense. And sure, when a relationship first starts off that way, it feels exciting, especially since we are constantly searching for spontaneity and a steady hook up. There are no strings attached and if another guy happens to walk into the picture…so be it.
On the surface, it seems like a win win. But is it really ever worth it? Once the carefree attitude fades away, emotions creep into the equation and someone ends up getting burned. Then after multiple booty calls, with no dates and no telling how many girls your so called “friend” has been hooking up with, we end up feeling used, betrayed, and not worthy of any type of real relationship.
So ladies, if you happen to be a helpless victim of the “Friends with Benefits” trap, don’t wait around! Be with other guys, hang out with your girlfriends, don’t answer all his texts…because if you’re not worth the time emotionally, why should you give him any time physically? College guys might have a reputation of only wanting one thing, but settling for that is not a smart move. After a little searching, you might just find someone who is looking for the same thing that you are…and once you do, there is a good chance your “friend” will be running right back.