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5 Kinds of “Fashion” Guys Don’t Understand

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It’s not hard to realize that when it comes to female fashion, most men are utterly lost. For a guy, it’s easy. Wake up, throw on pants or shorts (ideally with a button and a zipper) and a t-shirt and they’re good to go. Girls, not so much. We hem and haw over what we should wear, how many layers, the extent of matching we’re aiming for, and what kind of statement we’re trying to make with our outfit…. It’s really time consuming. And ultimately, a lot of that time goes unnoticed and unappreciated by the male population.

I asked fifty guys to give me three fashion trends, which was later simplified to “things girls wear,” that they don’t understand or just don’t like. Here are the recurrent trends and what guys had to say about them. The quotes are all real, but the guys asked to stay anonymous so you can only guess at which guys are hating on your looks.

Read on to see the five trends that came up the most! 

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5. Our Bras

Bandeau

Apparently two types of bras are confusing:

Front-clasping Bras:

  • “Big curveball”
  • “At first confusing, but a chick doesn’t wear one unless she’s expecting to get some”… Tasteful

 

Bandeaus:

  • “Why do girls wear bras with them? Isn’t one enough??”
  • “They don’t look good and I don’t understand why they’re called bandos”
  • “Bandeaus are weird. Why do you need them?”

 

One guy encouraged us to just “Be free! #feminism” …. Yet somehow I think that would cause massive focusing problems for males …

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4. Our affinity of boots for all weather

 

Apparently guys genuinely hate Hunter rain boots and UGGs aren’t a better alternative.

  • “Why the f—are girls obsessed with rain boots?”
  • “Hunter boots — My sister bought a pair that cost $150, just get rubber rain boots for 10 bucks”
  • “Fine, I understand the rain boots, but what’s with those socks for them? I don’t understand why they fold over the boot? Why don’t they just stay inside or zip into the boot”
  • “UGGs- they’re ugly. Those rain boots every girl has here. Sh—ain’t original”
  • “Any boots with shorts. What is that? Are you hot or cold?”
  • “UGGs. Are you actually cold? Because you’re wearing a tank top.”
  • “UGGs. They suck.”
  • “Stop wearing UGGs in the summer”
  • “Girls who wear UGGs when it’s not cold out kinda ruin it for me and those pink ones are ugly”
  • “UGGs should only be worn by Tom Brady”

However, we did have one lone UGG supporter: “A lot of girls seem to think UGGs were middle school trendy but now faux pas. If it wasn’t truly faux pas for guys to wear them, I would have a closet full. A warm, furry teddy bear wrapped around your whole foot? Sign me up, I won’t judge you”

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3. But really just shoes in general … Guys are actually concerned about the comfort factor of heels

Where To Get

  • “Really high heels… this just looks painful!”
  • “Uncomfortable high heels. They make my feet hurt when I see girls wearing them”
  • “Look hard to walk in… not worth it”
  • “Why do girls associate heels with getting with guys? I know so many girls that have names for their shoes… like ‘F—me boots’….It conveys a message in addition to accentuating certain parts” … Yes, someone actually said this
  • “Heels just make girls trip on the cobblestone. Not into them”

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2. Barbour jackets and vests

While it may seem like every girl here owns a Barbour jacket, the price of the coat goes unappreciated

  • “Barbour jackets. They look like they were made for people living in the middle of the Scottish highlands about 70 years ago. And they look just like any other jacket, but cost way more”
  • “Girls shouldn’t wear Barbour hunting jackets since obviously they don’t hunt or need quail pockets”
  • “I don’t really get vests. Especially when people wear them unzipped. That doesn’t keep you warm. Either get a puffy coat or enjoy the spring with less layers” … wise words
  • “I don’t really get fur vests. They’re ugly”

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And far and away the winner … 1. Yoga Pants

They really perplex guys and moreover, distract them both positively and negatively.

  • “Yoga pants. They’re not pants. We get it; you want us to look at your butt and legs, but what happens when you don’t have a butt or nice legs? You look silly. Or when you don’t want to be checked out, you get checked out”
  • “Yoga pants that have writing on them is just overkill. We’re staring at your butt already. Words on there just confuse our brains. Mixing learning with sex hurts” (a personal favorite of mine)
  • “Baggy yoga pants: if you’re gonna wear them you gotta wear them right, and it just looks bad”
  • “Yogas, cause guys are gonna check it out”
  • “Yoga pants. I don’t see how when it’s -10 degrees outside, girls still wear them…”
  • “Yoga pants make fat girls feel bad, and all chicks feel like they have to wear them or they aren’t hot”
  • “If you girls suddenly get freaked out that the guys are staring, just remember that you started it. No chance us guys are at fault here for giving in to our uncontrollable hormones”

But, don’t take your yoga pants off just yet ladies, lots of guys swear by them.

  • “Girls wearing yoga pants is the best thing ever”
  • “I carry a ring around to propose to any girl I see wearing yoga pants”
  • “I think I speak for all guys when I say they are amazing and we love them”
  • “Yoga pants seem quite comfortable which is good, and to get deeper, I get the impression that they also allow for women to project confidence in their body while not trying too hard to dress up”
  • “Yoga pants are awesome and it would be a travesty to this planet if girls ever stopped wearing them… and that’s only scratching the surface of how I really feel about yoga pants”

Keep reading to see a few more trends that nearly made the list … 

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Those may have been the top 5, but guys had a lot to say about other things we wear as well. Here are some of my favorite quotes, and yes they get surprisingly deep into their fashion critiques…

Love of Style

  • Boyfriend jeans: “Idk who came up with them but whoever made them fashionable should be shot. Even guys’ pants these days are getting more and more fitted and tailored. This is just one guy’s opinion but they make girls legs/butts look like they’re drooping/sagging/old and they just don’t really do anything positive for girls. I think a girl with nice shapely athletic legs is really sexy and boyfriend jeans just totally kill that”
  • Accent nail: “I just don’t get this. I’m not sure if it’s showing gang allegiance or secret girl code but I’m staying out of it. Plus, logistically you have to open up and paint another nail while your other eight are wet. Problems all around with this one.”
  • High-waisted shorts/jorts: “They elongate the butt and remove all of the beautiful, natural shape.”
  • Maxi skirts: “They’re not flattering and just look really weird to me”
  • Jeggings: “I don’t get jeggings. Either buy a pair of jeans or buy a pair of leggings” … Thank goodness the jegging trend was real short lived.
  • Aggressively ripped jeans:  “Maybe you had a hungry dog or something, but i really don’t get them. My mom would be mad if I bought some tattered jeans for twice the cost”
  • Pandora bracelets: “Always thought these popular bracelets reeked of a scam. It gave underachieving boyfriends/husbands/dads a cookie cutter gift by breaking interests into broad categories represented with overpriced, tacky charms. Any day of the week I’d rather see a girl wearing a nice piece of original jewelry or something that has actual meaning to her life in a special way. Your charms of a calculator and a caterpillar cost you $90, don’t really tell me anything about you and will be forgotten or lost within two years.”

 

Now, I don’t expect anyone to change their fashion based on the opinions of a bunch of college guys. But, I do expect you to find it entertaining. Getting these opinions was hysterical and there were tons of other quotes that I just couldn’t fit in. Some of the guys got surprisingly deep in their explanations and I was provided with pictures to illustrate what they were trying to say on multiple occasions. No matter what we wear, there will always be things guys just don’t get. One guy gave some great overall fashion advice: “I think girls can look good in pretty much anything, as long as they look well put together and commit to one season.” So there you have it. A big thanks to all the guys who helped me out and gave their fashion guru input!

 

Sophomore at Georgetown University from just outside Boston, MA. I love fashion, retail therapy, smiling and hugs :)
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