Remember going on your first date as a middle schooler or high schooler? Imagine going on your first date now. As a 20-year-old, there are a lot of things that have changed since then, when it comes to dating and going on a first date. It feels like everything has changed and standards and ideas are high. Stacks are high and the pressure is on, verses when you go on a “date” in high school or middle school where there is no pressure or standards.
As a 20-year-old, there is so much that is in my head when I go on a date now. Having to figure out what clothes to wear and how to do my hair. Do I smell good? Am I too loud? There is so much pressure to make that strong first impression on the date. Then when it comes to just walking into the restaurant, am I opening the door for myself or is my date going to open it? Am I telling the hostess how many people or is the date? I don’t know and having to think about all this, am I missing something, is something being said to me? There is so much pressure just within those first few minutes.
The next step is sitting down and ordering food and then making small talk. First you have to order your drink and food, what in the world do I eat and drink? Now I just get water and anything that doesn’t have food that could have the chance of getting stuck in my teeth because that is embarrassing. Then what happens when you’re waiting for the food to come: the small talk. Then it becomes: what if we don’t have anything to talk about? Then it’s dead silence and someone needs to say something. But what if the topic is bad? There is so much pressure that comes within small talk. Can I say this? Is it wrong? Do we even have anything in common?
Now THE BILL. Who the heck pays the bill? I always try to pay because it is something I always do. However, is it just whoever grabs the bill first pays? Who knows, but I always offer to pay because I try to make it less awkward just in case the person can’t pay and then I try to help out if I need to.
Here’s the real thing though, we go through all this questioning and wondering what to do but I guarantee within two weeks things will fall apart, and you realize you’re no longer interested in that person. Now going through all this anxiety and questions about what the heck I am doing, or how I need to act and present myself, was just washed down the drain. Not only was that time and effort for probably two hours wasted, but now you have to do it all over again with someone new (possibly, but most likely). Being 20 and going on your first date is no longer the same because there is so much pressure to make that strong first impression to just have to do it again with someone else.