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Round Table: Would You Rather Have Sex or a Premium Webkinz Account? Discuss.


It’s been on some of our minds ever since a few members of Her Campus at Geneseo started playing Webkinz again. 


Nicole Callahan

I’m content right now without either. It’d feel a little grimy for my taste pressing some sort of button and having a sexual encounter roll out, though, so I’d take that Webkinz account for real. I wonder if my male friend from 3rd grade who had a crush on me is still sending me flowers on the website. 





Jessica Bansbach

Man Have You Ever Been Like Bapped Gently In The Face With One Of Those Hippo Webkinz Toesies That Feel Like Bean Bags. That Alone Is Worth Any Cost.




Anonymous 2: 

Definitely sex. Webkinz is fun though.


Kayla Glennon:

There are so many ways to take this question. If I pick one, do I lose the other forever? If I pick sex, do I get a regular Webkinz account? If I pick the premium account can I still, like, make out with people? So many questions to be answered. Well, you’ll know my answer if you know how I spend my time at night when I’m stressed. 


Anonymous 3:

Sex is cool, but you know what else is cool? An unrealistically fuzzy platypus. I would be forced to pick Webkinz, or you’d see me on the evening news in ten years getting a lifetime ban from an Australian zoo for sneaking in every eight hours to try and get into the “Webkinz Arcade.” I choose life.


Jess Rivera:

Is Webkinz going to give my body the endorphins it needs to yoink itself out of this descent of pre-final breakdowns??? I think not. Sorry gamers, you still have no rights.



What would you do?

Jessica Bansbach is a junior psychology major who has more campus club memberships than fingers and toes. In her spare time, if she's forgotten that she's a college student that has more pressing matters to attend to (like, say, studying), she enjoys video games, thrift shopping, and ruminating. She was elected "funniest in group" by her summer camp counselor when she was nine and has since spent the next eleven years trying to live up to the impossible weight of that title.
Kayla Glennon

Geneseo '21

Kayla is a junior English major who is optimistic but enjoys exploring lots of emotions, not just ignoring the "bad" ones. They love writing silly things but also being serious, because there are a lot of things that matter and need to be talked about, but giving yourself a break is important too. They love writing about literature but also coming up with ideas for stories of their own. Kayla is constantly just trying to be themself and trying to be around people that make them happy.
Nicole Callahan is working towards a degree at a college. She has done some things, does other things currently, and would like to do still other things in the future. When she isn’t in one place, she can often be found at another. She loves certain books, foods, and activities.
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