Let's Throw a Political Party

With the primaries underway, we are officially in the midst of the 2020 race for President of the United States. This is an exciting and nerve racking time for everyone as people root for their favorite candidates and try to have their voices heard. While most people can reasonably expect their candidate to have a chance at their party’s nomination and, therefore, a shot at The White House, others who support more fringe ideas and candidates do not have this experience. Let us explore some political parties who exist without the same share of the spotlight as the Democrat and Republican parties.

  1. To say these people are the biggest narcs around would be a dramatic understatement. The prohibition party has a variety of interesting positions, including wanting to bring back a ban on alcohol! I understand that people want to recapture the glamour of 1920s pop culture now that it is once again the 20s, but I can’t wrap my head around why people would want to recapture prohibition. Banning alcohol didn’t go very well the first time, and I can’t imagine it’d be any better the second time around. Their other positions include relaxed gun laws, state level health care and stricter laws against animal cruelty. An interesting mix of ideas if you ask me.

  2. This party is more of a joke than a serious political movement, but that’s what makes it so fun! Their platform according to their official platform is as follows:

    “[1] guns for those who want them, no guns forced on those who don't want them (pacifists, Quakers etc.), 

    [2] drugs for those who want them, no drugs forced on those who don't want them (Christian Scientists etc.),

    [3] an end to Tsarism and a return to constitutional democracy, 

    [4] equal rights for ostriches.” 

    As you can gather from their platform “The Guns and Dope Party” is an appropriate name.

  3. This is a party I think a lot of people can get on board with. Based out of New York and Run by Jimmy McMillan, this party is all about upholding the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Fair Housing Act of 1968. New Yorkers are all well aware of this party because Jimmy McMillan ran for governor in 2010 and it was all over the news. I distinctly remember turning on the TV during this campaign and hearing this man scream that the rent is too damn high. This made my little middle schooler self giggle ... But now? I feel that. I understand.

  4. This is another joke party based out of my home county, Rensselaer County! The party is actually run by students at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and every year they run an inflatable whale named Arthur Galpin in the elections for Grand Marshal, which is the highest position in RPI government. Additionally, the party runs a now dead albino squirrel named Alby in elections for the president of the Student Union every year. The party claims they run these candidates because they sincerely believe they would do a better job than the animate candidates. While this party doesn’t have presidential aspirations, it is certainly worth talking about because of its absurdity. Perhaps they should expand their horizons and run Arthur Galpin in the United States presidential elections because Arthur probably would do better than our current president. 

  5. The Transhumanist party is dedicated to extending human life through technological advancement. While this is certainly a noble pursuit, I feel like there are more pressing issues at hand. Like, what’s the point of having all these advancements if not everyone has healthcare coverage to afford them? The party has a number of other policies such as encouraging clean energy and an opposition to mass surveillance. In October, the party endorsed Johannon Ben Zion for president of the United States. I don’t think we’ll see him on a debate stage anytime soon, though.

  6. The Owl Party is an apt name for an organization whose motto is “we don’t give a hoot.” The motto truly says it all about this small, satirical political party started by a jazz band in the 1970s in Washington state. The party stands for less logic and more lunacy in politics. In the 1980s, the Owl party ran a candidate for mayor of Tacoma, Washington and finished with about 10 percent of the vote.

  7. Unfortunately, this party is not a joke like some of the others I’ve discussed in this article. The Constitution Party adheres to an ideology of paleoconservatism, which is just as scary as you think it is. This party ironically wants to limit its titular document, the constitution. A quick glance at their key issues would only reveal a typical right-wing and nativist set of values. If you delve further, you’re met with the delusional notion that the United States was founded by and for Christians. In theory, they believe in freedom of religion (because that’s what they say on their website) but they really emphasize christian values, which leads me to believe they are not wholeheartedly behind the idea of religious freedom. From their party constitution: “The Constitution​​ Party gratefully acknowledges the blessing of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as Creator, Preserver and Ruler of the Universe and of these United States. We hereby appeal to Him for mercy, aid, comfort, guidance and the protection of His Providence as we​​ work to restore and preserve these United States.” 

 

So, while I cannot envision any of these parties gaining traction anytime soon, they’re still fun to look at and write a snarky article about.