Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Sex + Relationships

How to Know They’re “The One”: 50 People Answer

For any hopeless romantic like myself, there is one question that lingers in our minds as we meet new people, go on dates, have romantic experiences, or watch The Notebook for the 28th time this month – how do you know you’ve found “the one?”

Growing up, I had crafted the ideal scene for when I would meet “the one.” Perhaps it was one-too-many romcoms I had watched with my mom, or maybe it was the fairy tale stories I had flipped through under my covers with a flashlight past my bedtime, but nonetheless, my story was clear. I believed I would be in a library or coffee shop somewhere, most likely on the tail-end of my teenage years, tucked away in a corner with a good book and donning one of my cutest outfits. One leg crossed over the other and a lipstick stain on the rim of my white coffee mug, I would look up as a handsome stranger approached and asked me about the novel I was reading (which, I had predicted, was some kind of love poetry book, or perhaps The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald). I would ask him to sit, and we would discuss literature, art and music. He would then ask me to dinner that evening, and it would be in that moment that I would know that this stranger was my person, and we’d live happily ever after.

When I actually found the one, it was entirely different and even better than I had imagined. It was nothing like I predicted as a bright-eyed 10-year-old – no coffee shop, no stranger approaching my table, no copy of The Great Gatsby in hand. Instead, it was through an online dating profile I had made on a whim, and a simple message sent to me after I had swiped right one random Saturday evening while listening to David Bowie’s hits and folding laundry in my bedroom. Two weeks of phone calls and texting later, my ‘meet-cute’ of sorts was when he came to my door to take me out on a date, roses in hand, and told me I was beautiful. It was after a week and a half of perfect evenings and a stomach full of butterflies that I knew I had found the person I wanted to be with.

The funny thing about finding “the one” is that there is no definite way of knowing. Every person in love would tell you that they knew they had found their person in a different way than the last, as it all depends on how they value love and relationships.

In the last week, I asked 50 individuals how they would know someone is “the one” for them, and the following were their responses.

  1. “They make your life feel like a movie”
  2. “They give you butterflies, always”
  3. “They accept all parts of you, good and bad”
  4. “They challenge you to become better”
  5. “They have a connection with you and are the person you want to tell everything to”
  6. “When you can’t explain why you love them”
  7. “When you are able to get through challenges with them”
  8. “They make you feel whole, when you feel like you’re not complete unless you’re together”
  9. “You can always be yourself and trust them completely”
  10. “They make your heart smile and you’re willing to sacrifice for them”
  11. “They give you a reason to wake up each and every day”
  12. “When you feel like a better person with them”
  13. “When you hug them and never want to let go”
  14. “When they bring you comfort”
  15. “You feel completely safe and supported, and they’re there for you when life gets tough”
  16. “You’re able to talk to them for hours about everything and nothing”
  17. “You both are emotionally mature and can teach each other how to grow”
  18. “They don’t give up on you”
  19. “You feel it in your soul . . . it’s a soul connection on every level, mental, physical and spiritual”
  20. “They are like-minded in family bonds and values”
  21. “There is nothing you can say or do that is too far-fetched or annoying. Whether it be ‘let’s get Taco Bell for dinner’ or ‘let’s move to Alaska tomorrow,’ it’s always a valid conversation”
  22. “You never want to be without them . . . they are just so supporting in the relationship”
  23. “They make time slow down”
  24. “They’re always on your mind”
  25. “You can always go to them and they can always come to you”
  26. “The relationship doesn’t feel difficult”
  27. “Life just works. Every challenge life throws at you, you conquer as a team. Life is just better together”
  28. “You feel like you can be your most genuine self without judgement”
  29. “They feel like home”
  30. “Their touch settles you when you feel overwhelmed”
  31. “They make you laugh and feel weightless”
  32. “You can’t think of anyone else but them”
  33. “You can’t see a future without them”
  34. “They take your breath away whenever you see them”
  35. “Every day feels as fun and exciting as the first day you met”
  36. “They make you their number one priority”
  37. “They hold you as long as you want them to”
  38. “They respect your boundaries and don’t make you feel bad about them”
  39. “Their love goes beyond lust . . . they want you for your heart, not just your body”
  40. “You look at them and feel it in your bones”
  41. “The world seems like a more beautiful place with them at your side”
  42. “They take care of you and you take care of them”
  43. “In a room full of new and exciting people they’ll still be in awe over you”
  44. “When you never doubt that they love you more than anything. It should never be a question”
  45. “They’re the first and last person you want to talk to every day”
  46. “You don’t need to do anything fancy. Even the smallest moments are romantic, like watching tv or going grocery shopping”
  47. “They love your family like their own”
  48. “They keep the promises they give”
  49. “Your heart still yearns for them when they’re away”
  50. “Sometimes . . . you just know”

Dating and relationships can be a tricky path to navigate, but above all, it is vital to trust your instincts. When you’re with that person that fills your life with love, there will be a moment that reveals them as “the one” for you. This moment may be unexpected, unfamiliar, or terrifying – but once it comes, it can change your life forever.

Studying to be an English teacher at SUNY Geneseo, Taylor is a romantic at heart with a love for the arts, vintage fashion, reading, and writing poetry. ♡ Follow her on Instagram: @tay.bramhall
Similar Reads👯‍♀️