Why It’s Okay To Have A Small Group Of Friends

If you’re anything like me and enjoy reflecting on your childhood and good times you might often think about what happened to your social life or what happened to your huge group of friends. Entering college and starting your new adult life can become a rude awakening for experiencing moments like this. All of a sudden your huge group of friends from high school has turned into just a couple people or it’s the first Friday night in forever where you don’t have any plans. Maybe you feel lonely or like you should have more friends because it’s college, right? You might also be wondering why you feel so lonely in a sea of people. In this case, the well-known phrase “quality over quantity” is certainly relatable. While friend groups may become smaller over time, having a small group of friends can ensure more quality friendships. The older you get, the smaller your circle becomes. As we get older, we mature, we grow, and we recognize what friendships are important to us.

When you think of the anatomy of a tree, it has many elements. Branches, leaves, twigs, and some even having flowers or fruit. Look at those elements as friends. You’ll have friends in your life who will be bright and beautiful parts of your life, just like the leaves and flowers. They might be in your life for a while, maybe only a few years, or maybe even just a season. As the tree matures and grows, it’ll lose some leaves, twigs, flowers, and stems. This isn’t a sign of weakness, and it isn’t a sign of loss. This is a sign of growth, maturity and new blossoms. Part of the reason why so many people love the season fall is because of the change of leaves and colors. Change can be a great and beautiful thing. While the leaves and flowers may change on a tree, think about the stump. The stump never changes. The “stump” friend is your support, your encouragement, the thing that helps you grow and mature, and is the friend that will always be there. Who is the stump friend in your life? That is the friend to keep around, and who will always be there for you.


In the moments where life is unpredictable, who is your stump? What friend is there when school is overwhelming and you need someone to talk to? The friends that love you despite circumstances, the loyal friends who have your back no matter what, and the friends who encourage you to do better without sacrificing who you are inside are the friends to keep around. Every friendship has flaws, every friendship will have stuff to work through, but the ones who will stick around to work through it with you are worth it.


If you notice that your circle is getting smaller, look at it as a blessing. The people who really care for you are the ones who stick around. We all change, and sometimes our friends do too. It is absolutely possible to outgrow friendships. Sometimes a friendship was just meant for a season, so be thankful for that season because they were your friend. You likely learned something about that friendship and about yourself. Letting go of people doesn’t just qualify for romantic relationships, but for friendships too. Don’t hold onto friendships that aren’t healthy, or ones that you have outgrown. You are allowed to be picky with your friends. You deserve amazing friends who love you, support you, and want the best things for you. As Alex Bell once wrote, “surround yourself with people who care about you, not just those who say it, but those who show it.”