Why I Fear Divorce

When I was fifteen, I began my high school career experiencing the most traumatic event in my life thus far — my parents’ divorce. I remember coming out of my room on a winter’s night hearing my parents screaming at each other. While my mom stormed out of the house driving to an unknown place, my dad choked back his tears saying to my sister and I, “I am leaving tomorrow and all I know is that I can no longer be with your mother.” This traumatic experience plagued my future relationships, distorted my beliefs on marriage, and brought an uninviting void in my heart.

Miraculously, I found Jesus and accepted Him as my Savior at eighteen. While I gradually grew in my faith, learned more about the gospel, and found community, I had a better hope on how Jesus viewed marriage solely for the glory of God. Now, as I continue to to receive this encouragement, it doesn’t fully diminish the festering fear I have over divorce.

According to the American Psychological Association, 40%-50% of married couples in the United States end in divorce. By knowing that my parents are part of this percentage as well as other broken marriages, it reveals that western society is failing to restore and revive marriages for the long-haul.


Being able to cope from my parents’ divorce was agonizing by the highest degree. I experienced the hurt of being ripped away from the relationship I had with my dad along with moving out of my home due to my parents’ financial separation. Divorce isn’t something to be treated lightly. Today, if married couples are struggling in their marriage they are so inclined to consider divorce as a “get out of jail free” card. It sounds so easy right? One would say, “My husband isn’t meeting my level of interests, why did I decide to marry him? Ugh, divorce looks like the way to go.” In a society where it’s filled with narcissism and self-gratification, marriage is hardly lasting because the selfless and humble values are fading away.

American editor and novelist, Peter DeVries once stated that “The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but we must live with a character.” Yes we fall in love with the person for who they are, however marriage exposes more than the insecurities and fallbacks. Marriage exposes the ugliness within the individual. Divorce should never be the option when one falls out of love for their spouse or simply because they are bored in their marriage. Marriage takes selfless work: constant communication, humility, character, and choosing love to sustain and revive it “‘til death do us part”.

Divorce shatters not only one relationship between husband and wife, yet shatters the children and immediate family members alike. Divorce is the ripping of souls because it defies the meaning to be one flesh under God’s covenant forever [Genesis 2:24].

In order to avoid the faulty decision of divorce, prepare your heart and mind by asking for wisdom and guidance if you are seeking a long, sustaining, and fulfilling marriage. Avoid the heartbreak by learning from someone else’s mistakes.