Bachelor in Paradise is the reality TV show in which rejected contestants from the Bachelor and Bachelorette are placed on a beach in Mexico in hopes of falling in love with someone in three weeks. While the show is definitely not the most thought-provoking, I found this season to be rather interesting because of a scandal between two contestants, and the commentaries on the notion of slut-shaming that followed. Especially in today’s social and political climate —with the Me Too Movement and the push toward increased women empowerment— I found this situation to be particularly relevant and interesting.
For those who are unfamiliar with the show, the drama began in April during Stagecoach, when contestants Blake Horstmann and Caelynn Miller-Keyes ended up spending the night together. Before heading to Mexico in June to film the show, they both made it clear to each other that the night was “no big deal”. However, when they arrived on the beach it ended up being – you guessed it – a pretty big deal. Caelynn accused Blake of calling her a mistake and even worse, sweet-talking her into bed and silencing her. Caelynn, a survivor of sexual assault, was unafraid to tell Blake she felt like a “slimy, disgusting secret,” that he was ashamed of. After this incident, the rest of the season went downhill for Blake, because the rest of the cast became extremely suspicious of his actions. But the craziest part of this drama was not what was aired on national television, but rather the texts between the two that were released by Blake while the show was airing.
https://people.com/tv/blake-horstmann-shares-texts-caelynn-miller-keyes/
When Blake released those texts, the internet seemed to explode, since they told a completely different story than the one the audience was seeing. It is also important to note that Blake subsequently ended up deleting the posts and apologizing for releasing private messages. It wasn’t until this past Tuesday when the finale aired that the texts were finally brought up and addressed. Blake insisted he released the texts to defend his character and explained that while he knew she would get attacked for embellishing the truth, he ultimately deleted the posts since she was getting attacked for having sex. Caelynn interjected, insisting his actions were premeditated and that she felt exposed, violated, and discredited because he slut-shamed her. In the end, she stated “I’m sorry Blake. I was hurt and I was sad. And I fully overreacted. I’ve apologized time and time again, but I would never stoop so low to air those text messages.”
There have been a lot of mixed feelings about the way Blake went about defending himself and he has faced a ton of criticism for it. But I want to ask a seemingly simple question: by releasing those text messages, did Blake actually slut-shame Caelynn? After re-analyzing the situation, I don’t believe he did. Regarding the actual release of the texts, I think Blake articulated it best when he said during the finale “Nobody would’ve known that she made any mistakes, had I not done what I did.” Releasing the texts was the only way to defend himself and prove his innocence against the character-ruining allegations he was facing. How else was he supposed to defend himself when it was her word against his? Self-defense is a fair game and he owed her nothing after she made him look like a manipulative and controlling person on national television. If Caelynn would have just been honest, the texts would have never had to been released. I also find her “apology” really alarming – just because she was hurt and sad, she can make false allegations about someone silencing her? Despite admitting to overreacting, the real problem lies with Blake responding to that overreaction? I also think her claim that he slut-shamed her is extremely manipulative on her end since she knows the connotation of the word will invite people to come to her defense over his. While I don’t deny that Caelynn was slut-shamed, her placing the blame on Blake rather than trolls on the internet was inaccurate. Additionally, I find it ironic how she uses slut-shaming as a reason to come to her defense when throughout the airing of the show she repeatedly made unkind comments about Blake and another contestant’s sex life without their consent.
I think this scenario is an interesting demonstration of the double-standard and massive impact of slut-shaming allegations. In this case, Caelynn was allowed to make heavy allegations about Blake because she was hurt and upset, but it was manipulative of Blake to be equally upset and hurt and respond with evidence that reveals the truth. Further, throughout the show, it was ok for the cast to make snarky remarks about Blake hooking up with multiple women, but mentioning Caelynn’s night with him is considered insensitive to her. By allowing a man to be shamed for having casual sex, it only gives people the right to shame women as well. I also found it telling how before the texts were released, viewers immediately came to Caelynn’s defense. I think an extreme example of this was when well-known actress, Amanda Seyfried “called-out” Blake on her Instagram story when the finale was airing, encouraging many of her fans to send hate to him.
https://images.app.goo.gl/do3kcSS5LgHn67Kd7
There was no doubt that yet again, a man has used his power in society to shut down a woman. It had happened so many times in the past, so why would it suddenly stop now? This mentality is ultimately a dangerous game to play. In today’s climate, there is almost an automatic public defense for the woman involved in such allegations while the man is immediately attacked. While women should be listened to, shouldn’t the same courtesy be extended to the other side? With the increasing amount of such allegations in recent years, it is important to hear both sides of the story and base opinions on the evidence presented rather than immediate emotion. Caelynn’s false allegations are also extremely dangerous as her claim invalidates other women attempting to speak out. With so many allegations, it gets harder and harder for the public to believe which ones are actually true. So, when someone like Caeylnn who has the ability to broadcast her claim on national television makes false allegations, how are people expected to believe those who have much less of a voice and audience than her? Ultimately, I think to see this situation played out on reality television might have felt almost like some crazy drama that just fueled this season’s storyline. However, it is important to keep in mind that these types of situations happen in the “real world” and it is important to take a step back and analyze what is really happening.