As a freshman and sophomore in college, I was lucky. The guys who took me out put effort in; they cared and were genuinely interested. At some point I took my streak of luck for granted, not realizing how rare a “good guy” becomes. I know we’re only a little ways into this school year, but so far, my dating endeavors have been wildly unsuccessful. As of now, senior year has presented me with some pretty questionable guys.
After going on a few too many first dates, I’ve experienced a red flag epidemic. Here are some I’ve picked up on:
He Seems Too Perfect At First
At first, he’ll shower you with compliments, he’ll text and Snapchat quickly, and he’ll say all the right things. He’ll probably take you out on a date, but it usually stops at the one. On that first date, he’ll be sweet, and honestly, the compliments can get a little ridiculous. Like really, you could stare into my eyes ALL DAY?
Wandering Hands
The guys who are smooth talkers are usually smooth with their hands as well (and are probably trouble). I refer to this phenomenon as “wandering hands.” He’ll touch the small of your back, take your hand, put a hand on your thigh, and of course, give you a hug goodnight. Essentially, it’s when he’s always got a hand on you, and typically, it’s a red flag. There’s a point when they’re a little too smooth, but hey, practice makes perfect, right?
“It’s Different With You”
If you ever hear something like “It’s different with you,” “I want to treat you right,” or “I actually want to get to know you,” chances are they’re probably lying. It’s easy to want to believe words like this; we all like to feel special and believe it really is different with you. The thing is, if a guy ever says this to you he’s probably been using the line for years. He shouldn’t have to be clarifying that it’s different with you or that he actually wants to get to know you. If he has a bad track record, he likely has no plans of changing his behavior with you. I’ve learned that the more frequently they say things like this, the higher the chances are that they’re lying. DON’T BUY IT.
They don’t really mean that they want to get to know you (they want to get to know your body).
He Wants To Kiss You– A Lot
This one can get a little confusing, but I’ve noticed that some guys really like to kiss. If they kiss you to shut you up or to avoid actually talking– RUN.
If He Tells You His Ex-Girlfriend Was “Crazy,” There’s Probably More To The Story
This doesn’t pertain to every guy who says this, but when it is a lie, you better watch out. This one’s pretty simple. If he tells you she cheated (and that he stayed with her), he probably cheated too. If he tells you she was controlling, he probably really wanted to cheat. I’ve learned the hard way that these guys can be the most unloyal, are probably talking to a handful of other girls, and will probably ghost you when they get sick of you.
You Met at a Party or at The Club
Guys tend to act like the place you found them in. For example, if you met him in a dirty smelly club, expect him to act exactly like that. Do yourself a favor and ignore the good morning text. This breed of guys are pretty smooth, and regardless of the wild things they tell you (seriously, I’ve heard “I’m going to marry you” too many times), they usually just want one thing– and it’s not to get to know you (or marry you).
He Asks The Right Questions But Forgets To Listen
It’s pretty frustrating when a guy asks the right questions but doesn’t listen to your answers. If he’s not looking at you while you talk, if he only gives a nod in response, or if you see him staring off into space, he’s probably just asking to give you the illusion that he cares.
He Tells You His Whole Life Story– Way Too Soon
Honestly, this one still confuses me, and I’m not sure if it’s always a bad thing, so you might have to make your own judgment when it comes to this.
One thing I don’t entirely understand is why some guys tell you their whole life story the first (or second) time you hang out. Sometimes they’ll even whip in a few traumatic events. They confide in you. Maybe it’s to make you feel special, to make you trust them, but seriously, if you’re just gonna ghost me in two days, was it really necessary? It all just becomes useless information, and you’ll walk around knowing way too much about a guy who didn’t actually want to get to know you. Again, I hate to break it to you, but don’t feel too special if a guy does this to you. You’re probably the second girl he’s told that week, and for all we know he could be making the whole thing up.