Fake friends are like buying groceries. You place the food you want in the cart like Oreos, chips, ice cream, and Red Vine licorice, not caring that they have zero nutritional value. That is until you start feeling slow and sluggish, and your favorite pair of jeans stop fitting you just right. Just like junk food, certain friends can make you feel pretty junky, too, and sometimes it is hard to differentiate the kind of people who help you grow from the kind who make you wither.
1. Most of Your Conversations Consist of Talking About Others
It is completely understandable to voice your opinions about others to your close friends as a way to get it off your chest or as a way of asking for advice, but if the time together is mostly spent talking negatively about others, there is a very high chance that as soon as they stop talking to you, they will start talking about you.
2. There Is a Sense of Competition/Jealousy
True friends will want to celebrate your accomplishments and lift you up instead of bringing the focus to themselves every chance they get. Know the difference between a compliment and a back-handed one. If what they say makes you feel insecure or makes you question your worth, chances are they are voicing their own insecurities and taking it out on you.
3. They Are Only There For You When They Need Something
This one is huge. Remember that friendship is not conditional. When you are not feeling yourself or you are in a funk, observe those who are there for you and those who do not even bother to ask if you are okay. Maybe those are the people in your life who you will never see during the week, but will want to be best friends with on the weekends. A part-time friend is not your friend at all.
4. Their Presence Makes You Feel Lonely
I think most people can agree that one of the best feelings is being surrounded by good company. You should not feel mentally exhausted, sad, or outcasted after hanging out with a close friend. Trust your intuition; you can always feel when someone is not good for you, especially if it messes with a positive mindset.
5. They Stop Talking to You When You Have a Disagreement
Communication is essential for any relationship. If someone hurts you, you should be able to voice that, talk it out, and move on. Obstacles make a bond stronger, and real friends would never want to intentionally hurt you and will appreciate honesty. If someone is unwilling to end a disagreement, it is probably because they do not want to, which shows that your friendship is not worth working on.
It can be difficult to decide to move on from friends who are holding you back, but then you might be held back from meeting some really remarkable people who are positive and encouraging. Friends make life a lot more fun, but we are the ones who determine our own emotions, thoughts, and actions. Your vibe attracts your tribe, and if you want great friends, you have to be one, too.