Roughly one in two children have watched their parent’s relationship fall apart. They say children of divorce come from a “broken home”; they witnessed their parents fall out of love, and now they spend Thanksgiving at one house and Christmas at the other, and that is only if their parents can stop fighting long enough to come to that decision. Often times when parents get divorced, their family has been broken, and the children are left to pick up the pieces.
I was young when my parents got divorced. What felt earth shattering at the time has become one of the best things to happen to me, which might seem strange to say, but my parents always put my brother and I first. We do Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and birthdays together. This shocks people; they are shocked to hear that my parents can stand to be in the same room as one another, and I don’t think I realized until now just how unique of a situation that is and how lucky I am to experience such a positive family dynamic. My parents truly did make the best out of an unfortunate situation.
My parents never lost love for each other; they will always be friends. I always used to think my parent’s divorce taught me that that all marriages are destined to end in failure, but what it really taught me is that love conquers all. Yes, my parents got divorced, but that does not mean that they do not love each other, it just means they love each other in a different way than they used to. They put their love for my brother and me before anything. I never felt to blame or like I was being overlooked like many children do. Their thirteen-year marriage was coming to an end, and I never once felt a lack of love within our home.
I also gained family members as a result of my parent’s divorce. This was not a positive at first, as I did not want to welcome anyone with open arms. To me, family was determined by blood, but now I could not disagree more. Your family is the people that love and support you unconditionally; they are the people that choose to be in your life, not the people that share your genetics. My stepdad makes the choice each and every day to be in my life. He has no obligation, but yet he chooses to love me like his own. I gained a third parental figure, and I often forget how lucky I am to have three parents when some people do not even have one. Little girls dream of having their dad walk them down the aisle. I had the same dream, but now my dream is bigger: I have two people to walk me down the aisle. My stepdad taught me that you can choose your own family and how important it is to focus your love on the people that love you unconditionally and without obligation.
I may be a child of divorce, but I do not come from a broken home. I am simply surrounded by so much love that it cannot be contained within one home.