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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Am I Ready To Start Dating Again?

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at GCU chapter.

As I’ve gotten older and had more experience in the dating world, I’ve realized how important it is to check in with yourself and know when you are ready to date and when you are not. I’ve always been told this is an important aspect of dating, however, I never fully understood what it meant. I have made the mistake of jumping into things that I’m not ready for, and all I’ve found is that this negatively affects you and the person you are in a relationship with.  

People can rush into relationships to quickly find comfort if they’ve just been broken up with. According to an article written by Clinical Psychologist Randi Gunther, “Loneliness can mask logical and effective reasoning.” To help with this, I’ve done some research on behalf of myself and others so that if that cute guy or girl asks you out, you’ll know what you want. Here are some questions written in Gunther‘s article, “15 Questions to Help You Decide You’re Ready to Date Again.” I have included some of my experience for elaboration: 

  1. What are your available potential options? 

In other words, are there people available who are also interested in a relationship with you? 

  1. Have you recovered from your past losses? 

After my first breakup, I had a very hard time. I was single for about seven months before getting into another relationship. I wasn’t fully healed before jumping into things and I didn’t check in with myself beforehand. My first relationship lasted about two years and since it was my first one, I needed more time to recover.  

  1. Are you willing to realistically look at your marketability? 

Are you optimistic about dating? I’ve found myself having a pessimistic view of dating after a relationship goes sour.  

  1. Are you truly open to the options you have? 

I’ve found that if I haven’t taken the time to heal from a broken relationship, then I am not truly open or accepting of other people. I am usually more closed off or still thinking about the person I haven’t gotten over. This isn’t fair to your new partner, so make sure you are ready to be open and honest.  

  1. Are you feeling good about yourself to go back “on the block?”  

Confidence in yourself is so important throughout life as well as in dating. Make sure you are comfortable with who you are and what you stand for before dating again. Having your hobbies and friends and taking good care of yourself can help with self-confidence.  

It can be hard to put yourself back out there if you have been hurt in the past. What has helped me the most is focusing on myself and doing what makes me happy. After a breakup, I found that I had more free time to do the things I wanted. I hung out with my friends more and became more comfortable with myself. Healing will come naturally, and before you know it you’ll be excited to give dating another try. Of course, you are the only person that will truly know when you are ready to date, so remember to always listen to and trust your intuition! 

Lauren is a professional writing student at GCU and will graduate with her bachelor's degree in Spring 2024. She loves skateboarding, watching films, doing most anything with her friends and spends her summers at her favorite beaches in Malibu.