Self-growth is a concept that I have been considering. My social media timeline is littered with influencer quotes about growth about how they were able to end up at a better spot than where they started. They were struggling and now they’re not, and if they still are – you’d never be able to tell. When approaching the idea of self-growth, my first thoughts were always about wanting to feel fully grown, to finally arrive as the person I am meant to become.
This way of thinking would be disheartening especially when I thought about all the things I feel the need to fix about myself. When I don’t know how to change something or try to and fail, I would feel frustrated and defeated. When finding myself in these positions, my mind would wander towards thoughts about how maybe this is as grown as I will get. I would become stubborn and defensive when someone would disagree with my thoughts and actions that were paralleled with a version of myself that I considered to be “fixed”. More often, I would become frustrated with myself if I ever came to a realization that I wasn’t necessarily right about a situation.
Lately, I have redirected my thinking. Instead of being hard on myself for not knowing how to react in certain situations, I accept myself as I am and use my new knowledge as a tool for growth. There is value in taking the time to think about how far I have come. I can appreciate how far I have grown without feeling the pressure of the additional aspects I want to change about myself or being fearful that I have reached my peak for personal growth.
Instead of focusing on the idea of being grown, I focus on directing my effort towards continuous growth. Each opportunity I come across is a chance to learn more about who I am and who I want to become. I am no longer thinking about self-growth in terms of where I want to end up but rather an endless discovery.