Okay, they are not lying when they say college will fly by. I’m writing this as a senior at Furman, and I am simply dumbfounded at how many memories I have made in what feels like minutes. But it’s been four years. Throughout my time here, I’ve experienced what feels like it all: friendships gained, friendships lost, nights with friends I’ll never forget, nights I spent alone, break ups and awkward talking stages, and above all, a whole lot of self-growth. Sometimes I look at photos from freshman year and don’t even recognize the person I was then. Not physically, though, as I look mostly the same. But mentally, my growth is astronomical.
As you all know, self-growth is not linear nor is it easy to come by. For me, I have navigated this southern lifestyle after being a northerner for 18 years. With that, a lot of times I wished I had someone older at Furman to talk to. To seek advice from and to process the different things I was experiencing. But, I didn’t. So, here I am now trying to give out all the advice that I wish someone told me freshman year.
- You don’t need a friend group
When I came into college, I had this idea that everyone in my freshman year hall and I were going to be this giant group of girl bosses. That didn’t end up being true. Then, I started hanging out with another girl group and was like, “Okay, yes my new besties!” Guess what? That didn’t end up being true, either. Hot take: you’re not always meant to be in a friend group. For me, I realized I love developing one-on-one friendships way more than I liked being in a friend group. Instead of being a part of the previously mentioned friend groups, I ended up parting ways and strengthening friendships with girls in both of those groups instead. But this time, individually. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to live up to a stereotype you’ve seen on TV or in movies.
- You don’t need to change who you are just because you go to college now
I thought as soon as I got to college, I needed to change everything about me. I thought I would need to go out 24/7, I would be dating a ton of guys, I would be dressing super cool and different, you get the point. Turns out, I didn’t need to change. Of course, with college, going out, meeting guys, and style changes are all normal and to an extent, it did change for me but I am still who I came to Furman as. Some people go wild when they get to college, others stick to their roots, others find a happy-medium. For me, I found a nice happy-medium and have been able to maintain that. So, just find what works for you.
- Seek help for your mental health
It’s to no one’s surprise that I mention this. Most of my HC articles are about mental health, but for good reason. I didn’t start taking my mental health seriously until after I realized my anxiety overpowered me my sophomore year. I got back to campus in August and pushed away everyone that cared about me because I was anxious about trauma that had occurred years prior. That was not okay for me to do and it was probably the most painful time for me. However, because of that time, I ended up growing the most. I found a therapist and bit by bit, she’s taught me how to handle anxiety and trauma. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. You won’t be able to fully accept love before you fully love and fully take care of you.
- Be yourself
Up until senior year, I truly cared way too much about what people thought about me. Especially upperclassmen and people in my grade. It’s human nature, but I’m here to say it’s bullsh*t and just be yourself. I have never been happier by following that advice. Dance on the library steps with your friends, wear outfits you think are cool, make 1,000 TikToks, and don’t let anyone tell you to stop. I find it a lot of fun to post my outfit of the day on my Snapchat stories and posting fun polls to my Instagram stories. People have said it’s weird or annoying and let me tell you, as soon as you just train yourself to say, “I don’t care,” life becomes a whole lot better. People will always have something negative to say about things you do, so do what makes you happy and be who makes you you!
I hope these little nuggets of advice helped or inspired you in a way. I hope, more importantly, it doesn’t take you four years to find it all out, either.