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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Sorry, Not Sorry: Learning to Grow and Let Go After You’ve Been Dumped

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Furman chapter.

Break ups are an unfortunate hallmark of relationships in college. Many, if not all of us, have dealt with some form of heartbreak during our college years. It is arguably one of the few shared experiences women in college must combat. These moments of weakness or strength either make or break you.

Break ups suck in any form— there is no way around it, but those that take place during the three pinnacle times of the year; start of the school year, thanksgiving break, and winter break, tend to be some of the worst.

People grow apart, relationships just aren’t working, and countless other reasons may lead to the end of a relationship, but they can also initiate the beginning of personal growth.

When dealing with a break up I have found that you typically have two options: you can stay sad or you can get mad.

Now these two extremes are not mutually exclusive; human beings are complex as f*ck and both are completely valid human emotions! After a break up balancing out your sadness and anger helps you to move on, if not permanently, at least for the time being.

Then comes self-reflection. Look within yourself and reflect on the relationship itself. Humans are constantly evolving creatures. Sometimes reevaluating the relationship and trying to find yourself again is all you can do to help yourself understand why it might have ended. Maybe even indulge in screaming to some of your friends about what a jerk your ex is.

Few things are more cathartic than sitting with your best friends and just reminding yourself of all the things wrong with your ex, and having them reciprocate with words of inspiration. Always remember; you were and still are THAT B*TCH.

Distracting yourself helps too. Read a book, paint a picture, make out with a rando at the barn if you want. Finding things that help you move on and distance yourself from the failed relationship helps to put things into perspective.

As the saying goes, all’s fair in love and war. Learn to love yourself again, and the right man or woman will come your way in no time. 

Olivia Glad

Furman '21

Olivia Glad is a senior majoring in Sociology with a minor in Women, Gender, and Sexuality studies, a writer for HerCampus, a peer leader and mentor, as well as a Resident Assistant. She is an avid supporter of women, social justice, and self-reflection and has written numerous papers and engaged in passion projects about these topics. She loves the color pink and a nice iced coffee after a long day of classes. She hopes to become a college professor or program director to enlighten young minds, but ultimately to become a mentor and friend to all.