“Ugh I shouldn’t have eaten that,” your friend says after you and her just ate the same thing.
“I’m so full” your peer says as her plate of food looks untouched.
“I buy this brand because it’s less calories” your friend says referring to the whole wheat pasta she eats rather than the normal brand you eat.
“I haven’t eaten anything all day because I wanna look good tonight,” your peer says the day of her semi-formal.
“I worked out today so I can have this” your roommate says looking into her Ben & Jerrys.
If you are a woman, you probably hear some rendition of these phrases all the time from your family members, friends, and peers. Problematic attitudes towards eating are so embedded in our society that I would venture to say almost all women feel guilt over their eating habits at some point. And unfortunately, we subconsciously learn to complain about how much we eat and to express self-loathing related to eating as a result of listening to others do so. While it may not be intentional, phrases like the ones above can trigger insecurity and problematic eating behaviors to whomever is listening.
It’s so easy to say these types of things when we’ve likely been hearing them our whole lives. I have caught myself justifying my eating out loud (i.e: “Should I eat this? I’ve been eating terribly lately so maybe not…”.) and complaining about how much I eat because I feel self-guilt for my eating habits. But recently I reflected on how I feel when I hear others do the same. When others comment about their eating, I can’t help but reflect on my own eating habits in comparison. So, I am trying my best to refrain from outwardly expressing any self-guilt and intrusive thoughts about eating when others are around. My journey with body-image and eating is mine, and the last thing I want is to trigger someone else’s insecurity about eating.
Here are some general rules to go by: Don’t ask someone what they ate today. Don’t justify what you’re eating out loud. Don’t brag about your fasting or diet habits in front of others. Don’t talk about what foods are “bad” for you when others are there.
While it may be tough, I encourage you to make a goal to yourself to be more aware of how you speak about eating in front of others While everyone is on their own journey with healthy body image and eating, expressing your own negative or problematic thoughts affect the other people in the room and contributes to a cycle of disordered eating and self-loathing. Let’s improve the narrative and keep it positive. Women have enough comparison and insecurities to live with-let’s try our best not to contribute to it.