Since beginning the second semester of senior year, I have been feeling somewhat removed and eager to graduate. There are times when I feel really guilty about that. You always hear that college is supposed to be the best four years of your life and I do not want to wish any time away, but I cannot help but have these mixed feelings. That is not to say that my time at Furman has not been great, because it has, and these past few years have shaped me into who I am today.
Upon arriving at campus as a freshman, I was insecure, struggling to understand my purpose, and inexperienced. Since then, I have developed genuine and deep relationships with individuals who have challenged me to grow and educate myself. I have become much more sure of who I am and how to articulate this to others. Additionally, I have chosen a career path that is meaningful to me and that I believe will fulfill me. So, why after gaining so much from Furman, do I feel such an urge to leave this place?
I do not really have a particular answer to this question and I hope that I am not the only senior ruminating on it. The answer that I think would be most probable is friendships.
As graduation is approaching, I have been thinking about friendships that I value and want to transition into this next phase of life. I feel like I have about three people that I view as forever friends. The rest have begun to feel more like relationships of convenience. We have grown together over the years since being scared freshman on this campus, but I think we may have been growing apart more than we were together. As a result, I have found myself feeling very dissimilar from some of these friends. It has become clearer that we have different values, beliefs, priorities, and goals in life. That does not mean that I have any ill will towards these people. In fact, I wish them all the best in life, but I think that these relationships will naturally splinter in the coming years.
So while I do feel sentimental about the memories I have made here and the connections I have made, I think it is normal to feel that you have outgrown a place. My time at Furman has taught me many valuable lessons that I will carry with me throughout my lifetime. It has also brought me people who mean the absolute world to me and who I will continue to laugh with in the years to come. With these skills and these people, I am confident that I am equipped to take on my next chapter. I am eager to grow more as a person and learn more about myself. I am excited to meet new people who share similar goals and ambitions.
If you have been feeling this way too, you are certainly not alone.