Apocalypse Bunker Essentials

The apocalypse is coming. The end of everything we hold dear is close, much closer that we would like to acknowledge. As someone who has come to peace with the end of the world as we know it, I think it is important to know what would be necessary for survival in a post-apocalyptic world. My solution: an underground bunker.

(Gif Courtesy of GIPHY)

My bunker, which will be in a location only known to me, will be decked out with all of the essential survival items for my post-apocalyptic existence. If you happen to stumble upon my bunker (which you never will because it will be very well hidden), here are some of my survival items that you will find:

 

Water:

As I learned from the numerous survival TV shows I’ve watched, the human body can only survive three days without water. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be sitting in my bunker with the shits because I drank creek water. So, I will have a substantial stockpile of assorted water bottles. Fiji water for drinking and generic water for bathing, who said you can’t be boujee in the apocalypse?

Food:

The human body can only survive three weeks without food. You’re going to need food that lasts, and also contains all of your required nutritional value. Dehydrated carrots, Twinkies, and Big Macs are my top picks because they are delicious and have an unreal shelf life.

First Aid kit:

As one of the clumsiest humans on this earth, I am going to have a first aid kit loaded with Hello Kitty band-aids, antibiotic cream, and tweezers (for splinters and to keep my eyebrows in check-obviously a priority even in the apocalypse).

Flash lights:

There will likely be no electricity, so to see at night flashlights will be necessary.

Batteries:

You will want to stockpile as many batteries as you can to keep those flashlights going.

Candles and matches:

When you run out of batteries, you’re going to need another light source until, you figure out how to make Shrek’s ear wax candles. Stocking up on cheap candles and matches will help illuminate your pitiful existence as the sun goes down.

Duct tape:

It is the universal solvent to all of life’s problems, according to Hollywood. And if I need new clothes I can access my duct tape crafting skills from middle school.  

Books:

You’re probably going to get very bored, so I’ll be grabbing Twilight, Harry Potter, and Divergent.

Warm Clothes:

No electricity means no heat. In an underground bunker you will be warmer than if you were above ground, it will still get cold in the winter. I personally have been collecting triple XL sweatshirts for several years for this purpose.

Craft Supplies:

I am an avid crafter, and I cannot see myself being able to survive without some knitting needles and paint brushes.

 

Everyone’s bunker will be a little bit different based on your budget and interests. The most important thing to remember when designing your bunker is that this is really a place to express yourself and collect all the things that make you happy and can, you know, keep you alive. Remember there is no wrong answer for what you fill put in your bunker, it just might determine if you survive, no pressure!