Love is messy. Love is complicated. We often do not know how to define love, much less describe it. For these reasons, we often struggle to know when we are in love. To help you answer this question, I asked a few of my friends, “What does love feel like to you?” These were their responses:
“Love is when you want to and are comfortable sharing. Sharing things such as hopes, dreams, fears, happiness, and sadness. It’s knowing that there is someone always in your corner. It’s something that is there for you at your worst and best. That’s love.”
“Love feels like a constant companionship where you feel like someone always has your back and someone is always cheering for you. The best is that both of you would do anything for each other. I am so happy to be in love because I get to spend time with someone who shares my values and laughs.”
“To me, love feels like the ultimate comfort and being with someone that you can be your most true self with. Love feels like a break from the stress of the world even in the worst times. It means caring so deeply for someone else that you feel their highs and lows like they’re your own is what I feel as love. When being with someone feels as natural and relaxing as taking a deep breath, I know that it’s love.”
“Love is patience, value, and kindness. It’s simple things like a hug or asking how your day was. Love is through thick and thin. I think of gazing in your significant other’s eyes or at them and not feeling lust, but a passion for them if that makes sense. I think it is a partner in crime and one unit that takes on the world.”
“I knew I was in love when I was fully willing to accept long distance as my reality despite how hard it is. There was a time when I asked myself, “what the heck am I doing?” Long distance is one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever done. I knew I was in love when the distance was no longer a question; rather, it was just what I had to do to be with this person. All of my hard days and nights were suddenly wiped away when I felt the embrace of my person. There wasn’t any uncertainty, just happiness. It’s the best feeling.”
“Love is finding the piece of your heart you didn’t even know was missing. I knew I was in love when I felt like I had been seen for the first time. Feeling like someone can see your heart— what makes you special, even things that hurt— and not being afraid that they can see, knowing that they’ll do anything to protect it, that’s what love feels like to me.”
To me, love feels like being at home. It means feeling safe and comfortable, knowing that person would never intentionally hurt you. Love feels like traveling across the world or moving mountains without hesitation to be with your person. Love is hurting when your partner hurts and placing their needs before your own at times. It means loving this person because of their flaws, not in spite of them, because these flaws are what make them themselves. Knowing that this person loves you back makes you feel like the most important person in the world.
Clearly, love can take on many different forms. I hope that this article challenged you to think of your own perspective on love or gave you some clarity on how to know when you’re in love. If you haven’t been in love before, it might just be right around the corner waiting for you. If it is, I hope you feel all of these things and more.