Before starting college, there were all of these ideas I had built up in my head about dating. I assumed all the sayings claiming that guys don’t take dating seriously were all just vast exaggerations made by some girl who got dumped at a frat party. I didn’t think meeting guys would be as much of a challenge as it is. Unfortunately, I was proven very, very, very wrong.
Every single semester my family and friends ask me about my dating life. Any cute boys in your classes? Do you like anyone? Are you sure you don’t like anyone? The answer is always no. No, I don’t like anyone. No, I’m not lying about my relationship status. No, David from psych does not think I’m ‘cute.’ No, I don’t need to be in a relationship. Yes, I get it- this is the PRIME dating pool, but no.
Just to clear some things up: I am not opposed to dating; if anything I offer my sincere congratulations to everyone who is able to have ‘sparks fly’ in college. My experiences just haven’t been as romantically cliché.
It’s not as though I go into meeting a guy with a negative perspective, I’ve just stopped trying to meet guys after what I’ve seen.
First, there are the guys I’ve met at bars and clubs. Not the ideal place to meet a guy, but the cute guy from Starbucks has no idea I exist. In my opinion, this situation could go one of two ways- you’ll meet a nice guy or you’ll be groped by an inebriated creep. There’s also the guys I’ve met at parties and my experiences with that haven’t been ideal either. I go to parties to have fun. If a girl has had one too many drinks, do not take that as an invitation to try anything.
And yes, there are definitely guys who do not come off too strong, but for whatever reason things do not work out. Everyone has their focus on something different when in college, and after lots of heartbreak and trial and error, I’ve realized I was looking for a relationship for all the wrong reasons.
I don’t want a guy to like me just so I can have a guy who likes me. I want something genuine, not a stereotypical college hookup. It’s important to realize that speaking up for how you feel is the move. We’re in college; we shouldn’t have to be preoccupied with wondering how other people feel about us.
I don’t want to be groped by guys at bars. I don’t want to meet a guy who is only interested in one thing. I don’t want to meet a guy who thinks hooking up with a girl who has had too much to drink is okay. I don’t want to be the girl who gets strung along in a friends-with-benefits situation. I want to be me, to be happy and to not have some guy clouding my thoughts and my goals. So until then, I’ll be single. And yes, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
Don’t pity the single girl.
Disclaimer: This article does not represent the views of Her Campus FSU.