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When to Cut That Toxic Person Out of Your Life

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at FSU chapter.

If there’s someone specific you thought about before you started even reading this, then chances are you definitely have a toxic person in your life.

Hi. I bet you’re looking for answers. Aren’t we all? Life is confusing and filled with ups and downs. There will be people that come and go as we all navigate this complicated journey we call life.

I am here to share my own advice that I have learned through experiences I have struggled through. As fellow college students, there’s a good chance you’re going to face the same things I have if you haven’t already! Now let’s get into it.

Toxic people. We’ve been around them and, at one point or another, we might have been the toxic one. In my opinion, toxic people aren’t necessarily bad people, they’re simply bad for you. This can happen for a wide variety of reasons. Maybe their values don’t line up with yours or your personalities don’t mesh together in a positive way. Maybe it has to do with the people you both choose to surround yourselves with or maybe you two are just on different paths.

It is important to your own emotional and intellectual growth to try and locate the issue that’s causing so much drama. Yes, you can completely ignore the problem and go ahead and cut them off. BUT if you do so then you’re setting yourself up to make the same mistake again and hurt yourself in the future. Help yourself by finding the root of the problem and analyzing why you and this person aren’t working. By doing so, you can recognize traits and red flags that you dislike in others and acknowledge improvements you can make on yourself. 

If you’re unsure whether this person is worthy of keeping in your life, that’s already a bad sign. You can fight with friends or significant others, but there comes a point in a relationship where the bad simply outweighs the good. Are you putting way more effort into your connection than the other? Does this person uplift you, and are you doing the same in return? Has your social, educational, financial and emotional life improved as a result of this person or not? These are all important questions you should be asking yourself. It also doesn’t hurt to put yourselves in their shoes and ask the same things. Approaching the problem holistically can give you a greater understanding of the situation and how to resolve it.

Now once you’ve answered these questions, do not ignore them. Cutting someone important to you out of your life will be incredibly hard, but is usually worth it. Keeping a toxic friend or partner in your corner will only make life worse for both of you. Keep the “break-up” as clean as possible and always take the high road.

Once you’ve let them go, begin to make note of all the other things in your life that have a positive impact. You’ll probably appreciate all the good things that were there the whole time. The sun will always rise again and life goes on, you’ve got this!

All gifs courtesy of Giphy.

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Her Campus at Florida State University.