As a self-proclaimed Starbucks addict, I thought that there was no better person to write an article on this topic. My credentials include too many points and buying Starbucks as an incentive to do basic daily tasks: If make my bed, I deserve a drink. I go to class— wow, I’m so productive, I deserve a treat. I go to the library— I need a Starbucks drink, or else it’s not worth the trip.
I am also a great people watcher— with that talent comes the ability to study people and compartmentalize them based on their drinks to get their vibe. So if we meet for the first time and I ask you to go to Starbucks, I am 100 percent judging you based on the drink you order.
If you get any sort of hot drink and it is above 70 degrees outside, I will never speak to you again and you scare me. But on the other hand, if you get an iced drink and it’s snowing outside, I vibe with you and your type of crazy.
If you get any sort of Frappucino but especially a Vanilla Bean Frappucino, you are one of two things: a middle schooler or a frat boy. And no, I am not assuming this— I have heard this from secret resources, ahem ahem, Starbucks employees.
If you get a matcha latte, hi, mom! I don’t know if you actually read these, but I miss you! And if you aren’t my mom, you want caffeine but weren’t really in the mood for coffee, so you settled for this.
If you get a grande Iced Shaken Espresso and sub for almond milk without classic syrup but with three pumps of vanilla, I can tell that you love Alix Earle and probably own some type of white eyeliner.
If you get an iced Chai Latte, congratulations, you are hot. I am saying this as a loyal Chai Latte drinker. The best recommendation I can give you is that if you want added flavor, don’t get syrups; splurge for your favorite cold foam. I can tell you that when the pumpkin cold foam was in season, I was obsessed.
If you like Starbucks Cheese Danishes, you are elite. These are quite the hidden gem, in my opinion. Starbucks has such great food options and I don’t go for those enough. My favorites are the Cheese Danish, the Grilled Cheese and the Tomato & Mozzarella on Foccacia.
If you get any of the egg options, I respect your opinions. I don’t eat eggs, so I can’t partake.
If you get any form of Strawberry Acai Refresher, I totally respect you. You’re pretty chill and stunning. You are either in a more tropical place or you just aren’t vibing with coffee. Either way, I support this decision. This belief also goes for the Dragon Drink, Pink Drink, or Mango Dragonfruit Refreshers.
On the other hand, if you get the Paradise Drink or the Pineapple Passion Fruit Refresher, you are seriously lacking taste buds. I was so excited to try this drink but it was honestly a disappointment.
If you get any sort of black coffee, like an Americano or a Nitro Cold Brew you are either an engineering or computer science major and have never known peace. I hope someday soon you will be able to get 12 hours of sleep.
Keep in mind that these are all opinions. So if you like these drinks, keep drinking them and enjoy!
Want to see more HCFSU? Be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube and Pinterest!