As a young person, people tend to express the horrors of being in a long-term relationship – horrors such as getting burnt out, feeling restricted, or being limited to only one sexual partner. There’s the “unhappily married couple” trope that is all over the media, and the rumors you hear of girls pretending to be happy in an unhealthy relationship. These are all perfectly reasonable fears, and those who express them should in no way be persecuted. However, it’s clear that these people have never actually been in a long-term relationship, at least, not a healthy one. Being in a bad relationship will make anyone skeptical about the pros of the long term, and this is probably why they so often leave those out of the conversation. Therefore – for those of you who may be scared of entering a LTR, those who may have had a bad experience with them and need a little hope, or those who just want a good laugh – here is what being in a long-term relationship is really like.
1. You speak your own language
If I asked you what a “smabby,” “quinn” or “fasay” was, chances are you wouldn’t be able to tell me. After a while, you begin to develop your own special language and speak in code or through references to things you have been through together. This can make it incredibly strange to be around, considering you almost seem to be speaking another language entirely, but it’s honestly one of the best feelings to be able to understand these things no one else can.
2. They will see you at your least attractive
When my girlfriend and I first started dating, I would be sure to shave every inch of my body, straighten my hair, put on a nice outfit and do a full face of makeup every single time she came over. Now, I cannot imagine keeping that up over the last several years. Now we just revel in our hair legs and bed head while having a contest on who can have the most chins.
3. And I mean your least attractive
However, this doesn’t just apply to these conventional things that we do. When I say they will see you at your least attractive, I mean it. I hate to break it to you, but your partner will see you at your absolutely worse. And you will see them at theirs. I mean hangovers, sickness, breakdowns, the whole shebang. Yet despite how scary this may seem at first – allowing someone to see you in a way that you think nobody ever should – it’s nice whenever you feel like you’re dying and she’s holding your hair back, taking care of you so that you don’t have to do it alone.
4. It’s way too easy to just wear sweatpants all the time
Without the pressure of having to look conventionally attractive constantly, what’s the harm in wearing sweatpants? For a few days in a row? Ones with strains on them? Because you both eat like monsters? We’re not leaving the house anyway, so what’s the point of changing into real clothes when we could just be comfortable in our sweatpants together?
5. Everywhere you go, people ask where your partner is
Like, I don’t know, why don’t you ask her? It’s not like I keep a tracker in her phone or monitor her every move. We’re not attached at the hip – we’re two separate people! JK, JK, she’s back at the apartment playing Dishonored for the sixth time in a row.
6. Those bodily functions you were so worried about? Yeah, well….
Courtesy: Jaelynn Hart
A lot of people can’t even fathom farting in front of their partner, let alone sitting on each other and not being able to stop laughing because you keep farting on each other, wondering if this is what the rest of your life is going to be like (yes, that actually happened). There is literally no point in hiding those bodily functions that we all know we do anyway in front of someone you’ve spent years with. In fact, you and your partner may get so close, they’ll text you in the middle of class about a massive dump they took that clogged the toilet, and you will just be left trying not to disrupt class with your laughter.
7. They understand you better than anyone else – maybe even yourself
It can get almost scary at times, whether for you or the people witnessing. I can’t count how many times my girlfriend has finished my sentence, or said something I had literally just been thinking, or asked me about something I had been aching to talk about, or brought me exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it. There are plenty of examples I could choose from, but my point is: when you spend several years telling everything to someone, they are bound to get a pretty firm grasp on who you are.
Contrary to popular belief, being in a healthy, long-term relationship is one of the best experiences you can have as an allosexual person. It’s like a built-in best friend. Maybe some people think that’s cheesy or that you should keep your romantic partner and your friends separate, but my girlfriend really is my best friend. I have spent the last several years telling her all of my secrets, all of my fears, accomplishments, excitements and all of my smallest, weirdest thoughts. And, hopefully, that is how I will spend the rest of my life.
Courtesy: Jaelynn Hart