There’s so many traditions throughout the holidays, yet there’s nothing quite like the White Elephant exchange. It’s like Christmas morning, except it’s everyone fighting over gifts they may or may not actually want in their life.
If you’ve never played White Elephant, it’s a twisted version of Secret Santa. You don’t get assigned a person, but instead, everyone brings any gift, typically between $10-20. You pick a number and everyone chooses a gift in that order- except you also have the option to steal someone’s gift that has already been opened; thus, the chaos begins.
Since it’s free reign on the gifts, with no specific person to please, you can bring something someone would genuinely like, or you can bring something totally random that no one would ever choose to buy on Amazon- so that’s what I did. I went online to the Amazon gift guide section and all of these just happened to be under the “For Everyone” section:
1. If You Want to Give the Gift of History
Why It’s a Good Gift: Someone can learn something new, literally every day…besides what day it is.
2. If You Think Someone Out There Needs Some Tea
Fred SLOW BREW Sloth Tea Infuser– $7.20
Why It’s a Good Gift: The only person who wouldn’t want this is someone who doesn’t like tea, but at least they’ll have a cute sloth decoration to make up for it.
3. If You Think the World Needs More Potterheads
Harry Potter Hogwarts Rules Soft Throw Blanket with Sleeves– $21.80
Why It’s a Good Gift: A “Snuggie,” but make it ~magical~.
4. If You Want to Help Their Zen
Nature’s Blossom Bonsai Tree Kit– $24.99
Why It’s a Good Gift: Why waste your time with succulents?
5. If You Needed Some Convincing to Buy Them for Yourself
Moose Oven Mitts– $18.60
Why It’s a Good Gift: Maybe you wouldn’t pick them out, but if you got them as a gift you would use them; don’t lie.
6. If Captain Kirk Is Your Idol
What Would Captain Kirk Do? Intergalactic Wisdom from the Captain of the U.S.S Enterprise– $6.99
Why It’s a Good Gift: Because who else would you go to for advice over a spaceship captain himself?
7. If You’ve Realized that Sushi is the New Froyo
Rainbow Sushi Socks– $19.99
Why It’s a Good Gift: Comfort, color and sushi; do I need to say any more?
8. If You Want to Help Them Impress Others
How to Speak Chicken: Why Your Chickens Do What They Do and Say What They Say– $12.69
Why It’s a Good Gift: Because everyone finds psychology interesting, so why not become super knowledgeable on chickens?
9. If You Think the World Needs a Little More Magic
Magic 8 Ball– $15.90
Why It’s a Good Gift: Who even needs the Co-Star app after getting this as a gift?
10. If You Want Them to Go Beyond Monopoly
Conspiracy Theory Trivia Board Game– $29.99
Why It’s a Good Gift: For whoever wants to test all the knowledge they’ve gotten from Shane Dawson conspiracy theory videos.
11. If You Want Them to Be the Coolest Kid on Campus
Wireless Bluetooth Beanie Hat with Headphones– $24.99
Why It’s a Good Gift: The only reason this won’t get fought over are the people who think they won’t actually work (PSA: It’s 5 stars in ratings).
12. If You Know Soggy Cereal Is the Worst
Just Crunch Anti-Soggy Cereal Bowl-$8.99
Why It’s a Good Gift: Some may think this is just a bowl, others recognize that it’s a way of life.
13. If You Can’t Live Without Bob Ross
Bob Ross Funko Pop Doll– $10.99
Why It’s a Good Gift: For a little extra motivation as you paint your beautiful, radiant landscape to do it the Bob Ross Way.
14. If You’re Doubting Everything at Marshalls
5 Pounds of Twizzlers– $11.95
Why It’s a Good Gift: Maybe a controversial candy but I doubt anyone would complain.
15. If Taco Tuesday Is the Best Day of Your Week
Triceratops Taco Holder– $12.80
Why It’s a Good Gift: To show everyone who has the power on Taco Tuesday’s.
16. If You Love Something a Little Spookier
Hand Claw Gardening Gloves-$7.99
Why It’s a Good Gift: Perfect for the Bonsai Tree Kit in #4 if you want to make it a 2-part gift.
17. If You Still Aren’t Okay With How Game of Thrones Ended
A Dragon Stapler– $15.99
Why It’s a Good Gift: Take power over your classes next semester by using this to staple your syllabus together. Then, instead of looking on canvas, you can look at the one you printed and be like oh yeah, a dragon helped put this together.
18. If Olive Garden Is Your Happy Place
120 Andes Crème De Menth Thins– $13.30
Why It’s a Good Gift: Go to any nice Italian restaurant, take these with you and you’ve just created an upgraded Olive Garden experience.
19. If You Want to Upgrade their Pancake Game
Norpro Nonstick Pig Pancake Pan– $9.95
Why It’s a Good Gift: When you’re too broke for Sunday brunch, make your morning just a little better.
20. If You Want to Empower Them This Holiday Season
The Book of Awesome Women: Boundary Breakers, Freedom Fighters, Sheros and Female Firsts– $11.60
Why It’s a Good Gift: Last but certainly not least, and not a “joke gift” either: Because everyone can use a little more education.
I hope these options help you spice up your typical White Elephant gifts because let’s be honest, nobody needs another mug. May luck be with you during your next White Elephant (or start practicing your stealing skills). Either way, happy holidays!
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