Yes, your prayers have been answered. And no, this is not a trick. This is just good ole Florida State faith. White Trash Wednesdays are back for the summer. There are a few steps you have to take before you can take a leap of faith through the Strip’s door this Wednesday night. Don’t worry, as a Florida State Seminole, preparing yourself for WTW should be as easy as Baby Bio.
Whether you’re male or female, this is a key component to White Trash. If you’re not wearing jorts, don’t bother to show up to the pregame. Jorts are a beautiful blessing to us college students for a number of reasons. They are dirt cheap; if not dirt cheap, they’re free. You’re running to Good Will in between your classes to find a pair the day of and handing them off to a friend to quickly create a masterpiece with the used denim. If not that, then you’re using an old pair of jeans lying on the ground in the back of your closet to bring back to life in the best way possible.
2. Staple WTW shirt
A great addition to your jorts is a classic white trash t-shirt. You have many different paths you can take for this but it’s the most important aspect of your outfit. Your shirt determines who you are at White Trash; it lets people know if you’re there to crush beers with your friends or simply headbang in Tenn all night long.
The most common shirts you see out there are American themed, but the spectrum is broad. Other options you can take is a classic Ricky Bobby shirt that can be found at your local Walmart or even head to Good Will to see if you can find a comedic tee. Another popular option is any rivalry school. Expect a bigger turn out of UM shirts this summer because the rivalry is real. Don’t worry, there will still be a splash of orange and blue among the White Trash tees because UF will forever be our number one enemy. If you don’t have any of those shirts in store, grab yourself a Duck Dynasty tee. If you still can’t get your hands on any of those, try a camo shirt or one with a classic beer logo (our favorite being Natty Lite).
3. Finish your homework beforehand
Let’s be real, you are not doing that discussion board when you get back from White Trash. You’re only kidding yourself. The most important thing is to get your school stuff out of the way so you can drink your accomplishments away (even if that accomplishment is an eight-question quiz that you took earlier that day). Don’t leave that giant essay that’s due Friday morning for Thursday because you’re going to spend the whole day hungover in bed watching Friends, which brings us to our next point.
4. Ibuprofen and Powerade
Now, this is a key to White Trash survival. We’re already assuming you’re going to be bedridden the whole day and you can either suffer from your woes or Netflix-binge your hangover away. It is key to have some sort of pain reliever to take before you go to bed that night. Make sure to hydrate yourself and chug a Powerade before you go to bed to bring back your electrolytes and cure your dehydration from slamming drinks all night. If you skip this step, you will regret it. I promise.
This is our favorite go-to in case you can’t get that classic WTW tee. A great solution that is for sure in your closet. It’s a great excuse to wear your fall and winter clothes in the dead heat of summer. You don’t have to worry about it being too hot or sweaty because you can cut your flannel to serve all your WTW needs. Whether you’re cutting the sleeves off to show off your guns or turning it into a crop top to show off that beer belly you’ve been working on, a flannel is a great back up.
6. Boots, Belt and Hat
Of course, you have to accessorize your outfit and the best way to do that is with these three. Why not wear cowboy boots? Let’s be real, White Trash can get a little dirty and that’s exactly what Cowboy boots are made for. Step into that dreadful bathroom and don’t even worry about ruining your shoes, because hey, those boots were made to walk through a club and that’s just what they’ll do. For your belt, you can keep it simple and just steal the one you wear to Derdsday anyways. For the hat, however, you have many choices, the two most popular being a camo ball cap or cowboy hat. The only thing you have to worry about is making sure that girl doesn’t try to take it home with her after wearing it around Pub taking selfies with everyone.
7. Spare Cash
This is a given. You bring your $5 cover and FSU ID (White Trash always asks for student IDs or else you’ll pay triple cover). But besides Y-bombs and plenty of drinks, you need that cash for your adventure after White Trash. The best place to be at 2 a.m. on a Wednesday summer evening in Tallahassee is the infamous McDonalds on Tennessee St. Stuff your face with a McChicken and McDouble post-Strip, sit in the booths of McDonald’s and enjoy the view.
White Trash is back. What else do we have to say?