The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
We’ve all been there: wanting to know exactly what a guy is thinking, but being unable to quite get through. I always find it funny when I hear guys say, “Girls don’t make any sense” or, “It’s like they’re speaking another language.” Something about it is so mind-boggling, because the opposite also rings true: girls either can’t get the hint or they are so far off they need to re-watch He’s Just Not That into You. I thought I would attempt to meet at some common ground.
I posted a poll on Instagram to ask what some questions are that you might have for a guy but are too afraid to ask. Here were the results! Please keep in mind this was one guy’s answer, and everyone is subject to their own thoughts or opinions.
Her Campus (HC): What are sleepovers like for guys?
Anonymous Boy (AB): *Laughs* You just do stupid stuff with your friends. You play manhunt in the neighborhood, have some crappy pizza for dinner, watch something funny on TV or a comedic movie and joke around. You’d stay up until ungodly hours still doing stupid things. Really, it’s hanging out with your friends all night long, then waking up and laughing about everything from the night before.
HC: What are the first three things you notice about a girl?
AB: This is preferential. For me, I notice hair color/style first. How a girl does her hair or how much effort is put in will tell me a lot about you. The build is probably the second. Again, it’s really preference. Last is clothes. If you’re going to class, it’s different; if you want to wear sweats it’s fine, but you have to know people take that into account.
HC: Do you feel less or more pressure dating nowadays?
AB: Ooh, good question. I’d say less because being in college, you have so many other responsibilities that dating is no rush. There is no point in rushing to date someone. You should focus more on making friends and making connections and if it happens, it happens.
HC: Do guys actually care about “messing” up the friendship?
AB: This depends. If I just met you and I don’t know you very well, then not really. At that point, we’re just acquaintances so it doesn’t matter too much. If it’s with someone who’s a close and deep friend, then it becomes a concern. What changes it, though, is if you know there’s the possibility of something even greater—that’s why you take the leap. I’ve been in a relationship where someone was my everything. It’s a great place to be; I wouldn’t shy away from that just because of the risk of “ruining a friendship.”
HC: Do men actually feel like there’s “the one” or is it that when they’re ready, then they will settle?
AB: I don’t really understand the question. Guys look at it as, “I really want this to work, and I want to give it a try.” Maybe you bend a few things you wouldn’t have before. You find out you like some things or maybe you don’t. I don’t think guys think after meeting a girl once that “she is the one.” At least they shouldn’t. That is kind of the whole point of relationships, to learn about yourself. Find out things you like and don’t; no one should change standards to fit a certain person. If it turns out to be something that you like, then that’s awesome, but you shouldn’t change.
I first want to say thank you to the person I interviewed. Secondly, I think it is normal and common for girls to read too much into scenarios. I also think it becomes complicated to think guys don’t do the same thing. With that being said, I think you’d be surprised with the responses if you asked the questions that are on your mind. Obviously, you might want to ask someone you trust. Don’t shy away from asking because the question might be a bit out there or odd, chances are they probably have questions for you too. Be brave.