I have been a Swiftie since I was seven years old and listening to Fearless. I love Taylor Swift. I adore her. But, I am extremely tired of seeing headlines about her dating life. I truly do not care, and neither should you.
This may seem harsh, so let me clarify… I am so happy Swift has a partner that makes her feel fulfilled. She looks like she is thriving with Travis Kelce, and I could not be happier for her. My issue, however, is how her fanbase and the media react to Swift’s relationships, and how it impacts feminism.
Throughout Swift’s time in the limelight, there has been significant focus on her love life and her relationships over all else. We’ve all heard the critics saying things like, “Taylor Swift uses men to make songs about them” and “I wonder what she’ll say about *insert man’s name* when she complains about him.”
Misogynistic ideas, such as those featured in the Netflix show Ginny and Georgia, have surrounded Swift’s life for over a decade now. She has fought off this criticism her entire career, having to explain herself repeatedly, and battling ideas that she only uses men for her music. This article explains this idea and the double standards imprinted on her from the perspective that only focuses on her love life.
Following overwhelming hatred from the public in 2016, Taylor Swift “disappeared” for a year. She made no public appearances, there was no news of music, and she drew back into complete privacy from the public eye. There is much speculation as to why she did this, but the overall consensus is due to the unwavering hostility and ill will placed upon her. With the amount of negative media attention she is receiving currently merely for existing, I fear that something like this could occur again.
The newest chapter in Swift’s love life involves Travis Kelce, the tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs. Their public interactions have been very minimal. In fact, they have only been seen in the same place three times, at Kelce’s football games. It’s natural to feel excitement for a favorite celebrity if they appear to be having success in their personal life, but the lengths to which the media coverage and fans have been using this situation have reached new extremes.
The new stories that have been coming out about her, solely regarding her attendance at two NFL games, have been horrendous. Many individuals (*cough cough* men) have now been coming out with stories and posts about how she is ruining Sunday football and should stay in music. They have also been making disgusting comments about her femininity (such as in this podcast clip).
While this new media coverage is upsetting and uncalled for, it was to be expected. The media has repeatedly shown its pattern of hatred for all things Swift, so when relationship rumors swirl, outlets take advantage. What I did not expect is how Swifties have elevated this issue.
Many Swifties have a very deep parasocial relationship with Taylor Swift. To fill everyone in: a parasocial relationship is a one-sided relationship where fans falsely feel a connection to a celebrity who doesn’t know this relationship exists. Fans who feel like they know Swift personally also typically end up believing that their opinions on her dating life should have sway over her actions.
In situations like this, fans have been seen creating petitions as to why she should not date a rumored partner. It can also lead to fans writing fanfictions about what they envision Swift’s rumored love life to look like. These actions contribute to negative attention towards Swift and her relationships.
Swift’s love life is not a work of fiction. She is a real person with a real life. If we do not respect this as her fans, who will?
Here is my message to Swifties from a fellow Swiftie: be happy for her! Her current relationship is harmless fun! We don’t need to be romanticizing it and exaggerating it to the same extremes that mainstream media does. If as fans, our focus is on her love life rather than her music, then how can we expect the media to be any different?
So to my fellow Swifties: touch some grass. Remember that although we want what’s best for her, we do not know her, we do not know her life, and her relationships are her choice. We can choose to condemn and comment on her choices like the misogynistic NFL men who think she is ruining their football, or we can choose to be happy for her and get hyped for the 1989 (Taylor’s Version) release on Oct. 27. The choice is ours to make.
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