Straight men needed a new celebrity crush who wasn’t Ryan Reynolds—and they found it with Joe Burrow. The man looks like he seemingly crawled out of the primordial ooze and into the spotlight as the Cincinnati Bengals’ No.1 pick during the 2020 NFL Draft. More recently, we know him from last week’s Super Bowl, as we watched the Bengals lose to the Rams 20-23.
Despite the Super Bowl loss, Burrow is a force to be reckoned with as a rising football superstar. Before his NFL career, he was known for winning the Heisman Trophy in the 2020 College Football Playoff National Championship during his final year at Louisiana State University (LSU). Previously, Joe Burrow also played for Ohio State University from 2015 to 2017 until playing for LSU from 2018 to 2020. The reason for transferring was due to the fact that Ohio State was putting him on the bench rather than allowing him to see his full potential on the field.
Burrow was named 2021 AP NFL Comeback Player of the Year in early February 2022. He also led the Bengals to the Super Bowl after 32 years of the AFC franchise not appearing in football’s most important game.
Now, let’s discuss the real reason we’re reading this article—what is it about Joe Burrow that makes everyone (& their brother) swoon over him? It seems that confidence is why Burrow is so charismatic.
Truly, this man could walk the runway if his football career doesn’t pan out. A frequent fan of fashion, Joe Burrow is often seen in loud sunglasses, colorful patterns, gold chains, turtleneck sweaters and even SpongeBob Squarepants shoes with the occasional suit. It’s not surprising why he ended up with the Cincinnati Bengals, as the tiger stripe patterns suit his personality. Joe Burrow’s fashion tells a simple story—he’s a champion who wants to be seen on and off the field. Videos of him smoking cigars in the locker room frequently circulate online, likely adding to the “cool guy” energy Burrow radiates.
Despite Joe Burrow’s limited Instagram posts, he does have a girlfriend, much to the chagrin of straight guys everywhere. He’s been in a relationship with Olivia Holzmacher since August 2017, and seemingly, due to the fact that she attended Super Bowl LVI decked out in Bengals gear, it’s safe to assume they’re still together. Yet, ESPN TikTok videos of Burrow are continually flooded with comments from men, women and everyone in between praising his attractiveness and hoping he’s actually single.
After losing to the Rams in last week’s Super Bowl, we watched a defeated Burrow exit the locker room, still clad in his striped game day suit complete with a hat and rectangular glasses. Despite the loss, his head was held high and his swagger remained even in times of football hardship. So, why are straight men in love with Joe “Shiesty” Burrow? He represents a blend of humility, hard work, determination and pure comfort in his own skin. Plus, everyone thinks he’s stupid hot.
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