Having roommates can be one of the best — or worst — things to happen to many freshmen coming into college for the first time. Living with someone else in a limited space can be a big change for a lot of people, and it takes practice to make things work smoothly.
Your roommates are going through the same situation as you, so it’s important to be as understanding as possible toward them and realize that they are human and make mistakes. It’s almost even more important to go into college with a sense of humility and understand that you are bound to make mistakes. The sooner you realize this, the healthier your relationship with your roommate will be, allowing you to walk away scot-free from the all-too-common freshman roommate blowup.
This short yet critical list is your ultimate guide to college roommates, and how to avoid the commonly experienced freshman roommate horror story.
1. Boundaries
One of the first things needed for roommate success actually begins before the school year starts. Everyone has different boundaries, and it’s extremely important to communicate those with each other. For example, you should discuss your room’s guest policy, cleanliness, and sleeping schedules.
The last thing you want is your roommate inviting someone over that you’re uncomfortable with, so it’s crucial to have this conversation. Some questions you could ask each other about these topics could be:
- “Do you want me to let you know if someone will be coming over, even if you aren’t in the room? What is the cut-off time for people staying over?”
- “How clean are you? How often should we clean the common spaces?”
- “What is your earliest class of the day? What time do you want to go to sleep?”
- “How light of a sleeper are you? Can I turn a light on when getting ready in the morning?”
An important thing to remember is that this needs to be a conversation, not a lecture! Make sure you are listening to their concerns as well.
2. Spending Time Together
One of the main perks of having a roommate is having a built-in friend when you first arrive on campus. Even if it doesn’t seem like you guys are very similar or would get along, try to get to know each other. Everyone has niche hobbies that you wouldn’t know unless you ask.
Even if it seems like you guys have no common interests whatsoever, there are a bunch of things to do to spend quality time with your roommate that everyone likes! Some examples are getting ready together (even if you guys aren’t going to the same place), playing classic games, and watching movies.
It’s also very important to spend time with your roommates to see the best side of them. Conflict is pretty much inevitable when it comes to sharing a small space like a dorm. Being able to see a fun side of your roommate helps diminish any bad feelings towards them.
3. 48-hour rule
I actually learned this rule through my sophomore year resident assistant (RA), and it helped my relationship with my roommate and other friends.
If something makes you angry, confused, hurt, or any uncomfortable feeling, you have 48 hours to say something about it. If not, you have to let it go after 48 hours.
This practice is to help stop any built-up resentment towards your roommate and to make sure that you continue to communicate throughout the year. Communication is key when it comes to sharing a space, so the 48-Hour Rule is a must-have in your relationship.
4. Be willing to compromise
It’s a fact that as roommates, you will not agree on everything, no matter how similar you are. Everyone will have random little things that make them mad, and it’s important to be willing to compromise with those.
Compromising can be really easy, actually! For example, if both roommates want to take the first shower of the night to get the hottest water, you can compromise and take turns. On Monday, Roommate #1 takes a shower first, and on Tuesday, Roommate #2 takes a shower first.
Just make sure to communicate what makes you uncomfortable so you both can work on compromising to fix the situation as best as possible. Remember, no one can read your mind!
5. Find an escape
While roommates are an important part of college, they aren’t everything. It can also be very hard to hang out with the same person every single day. Make sure you are making separate friends outside of your roommate, so you have others to lean on.
It’s also important to find places you enjoy outside of your dorm room, as they can serve as an escape for you if there is any conflict in the future. Just having a place to study outside of your dorm can be so peaceful, so be on the lookout! Some great spaces I love are the Mina Jo Powell Green and the Student Union, especially with all there is to do with friends on the lower level.
Overall, being and having a college roommate isn’t very hard. The reason that we see so many horror stories is that a lot of people don’t come into college with these ideas in mind, not to their own fault. With these key hacks to roommate-dom, your dorm situation is set to be a success!
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