I met my boyfriend Brandon in August 2015. We met at our high school’s marching band camp. He was a year older than me. I immediately noticed he could be extremely annoying but also could make me laugh harder than I had. We remained friends through most of high school but began dating in December 2018. Brandon and I began long-distance when I started here at Florida State University (FSU) in the summer of 2019. With a six-hour drive between us, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Now that we have officially signed a lease together, long distance is finally coming to an end. The statistics are stacked against us. Long-distance relationships in college don’t seem to be common these days. Regardless, we’ve gotten through it and have grown.
Friends first
One of the essential things in our relationship is our friendship. Our friendship has allowed us to be completely ourselves around each other. Even our most embarrassing moments are shared with laughter. I genuinely believe this friendship foundation has been vital to our long relationship. It has brought us closer together in times of hardship. We have a strong layer of trust knowing that we can tell each other anything without judgment. We are friends first and a couple second.
Closing the distance
One of the most complex parts of long distance is the distance itself. To combat that, we often give ourselves something to look forward to by making plans to visit each other. We try once a month, but it sometimes can be a couple of months apart. We make plans to see each other for important holidays and anniversaries. We also see each other when I go home for school breaks. The time spent together makes the time apart so worth it. Seeing each other in person reminds us of why we’re doing long distance. It can be hard to find a reason when we feel like we’re worlds away from each other. Being able to hold hands and go on dates makes us feel like a normal couple for once.
Call me
Every night, we dedicate just a few minutes before bed to check in with each other. Some nights we even have little sleepovers where we sleep on FaceTime together. These little calls help connect us each day and end the day with a smile. Spending some time together each day makes us feel a little less distant, whether for five minutes or an hour. This is especially helpful during our busier days when we don’t get to text as much throughout the day. It allows us to catch up and share our highs and lows from the day. Not being able to be part of my partner’s everyday life can be frustrating because it feels like I am missing out on life’s most important moments. So, taking the time to share those moments helps us feel included in each other’s lives.
Let’s play
Brandon and I both enjoy playing video games. Luckily, it’s an activity that works well with long distance. Having a common interest allows us to spend quality time together while having an activity to relate to. We plan to play video games and spend time together multiple times a week. Without this, it would be so much harder to maintain our relationship. Playing video games also helps us communicate and work together to form solutions, a crucial part of maintaining a relationship. It may sound silly, but it truly brings us closer together into our private reality.
Obviously, there are other factors to the success of our relationship, such as our similarities and differences, how we handle conflict, and our emotional availability. We both put a lot of effort into our relationship. We would do anything for each other. That solid foundation of trust in each other doesn’t come easy, but easy is boring. As we build our future together, I am grateful for our time together long distance. It has forced us to grow both as people and as a couple. With the space, we have become closer. As we continue to grow, our experiences shape us into better people. I wouldn’t change a single thing about our relationship. If I had to do it all over again, I would still go through every hardship and trial we’ve experienced because of the distance.
He has been there for me in my life’s best and worst moments. He’s held my hand through sickness, read me my acceptance letter to FSU and brightened even the most mundane moments. As mushy as it is, Brandon is my best friend and the best boyfriend I could ever ask for, and I am glad we survived three years of long distance. Here’s to hopefully many more years of laughs and love and to the end of long distance.
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