In high school, I had a teacher who often emphasized his opinions on phones and social media usage. He believed that living in the moment, rather than worrying about virtually documenting it, would increase your “quality of life.” Social media, he’d tell us, is designed to keep their audience engaged on their app as long as possible. Hence, videos are short and scrolling to the next one is as simple as barely moving your thumb. At that time, I hadn’t thought much about what he told us and knew that regardless of what he “taught” in class, I wouldn’t stop using my favorite social media applications.
Recently, however, I found myself thinking back to his lectures and other information I’ve seen on phone usage. I would catch myself spending too much time scrolling on TikTok or Instagram and then feel guilty that I hadn’t been doing my classwork instead. My stress would increase as a result of my distractions and procrastination, and I’d combat it with more media consumption. This, in turn, led to more stress and more scrolling and became one big cycle where I was never fully content.
As much as I loved scrolling through my personalized feed, I knew it wasn’t helping my personal growth. Though my priorities were clear, I still couldn’t get myself off my phone to study. My attention span had greatly decreased since the start of the pandemic (when my phone usage grew substantially). Somehow my life started to revolve around my phone, even though it didn’t seem like it. After all, I, regardless of how long I put assignments off, would complete all of my assignments and get really good grades. Nothing was truly broken. Therefore, there was nothing to fix.
However, I knew my social media consumption wasn’t going to help me in the long run. It was only a matter of time before it would eventually come back to bite me. It took lots of reflection on the subject and realization of the unhealthy habits I’ve accumulated as a result of my phone usage, but I finally decided to begin detaching myself from my phone. My first step: deleting my favorite (and unfortunately, most time-consuming) pastime, TikTok.
I’ll be honest, I loved TikTok before I deleted it. And as much as it may sound like it, it wasn’t an easy decision for me. I had to measure where I was going versus where I wanted to go. For me, that meant deleting the social media app that took up most of my time and, therefore, created the most problems in my school performance. So, I made myself a promise: Anytime I wanted to scroll on TikTok, I’d read.
This is a much healthier habit to create in my day-to-day life that no longer decreases my attention span. Rather, it allows me to build my comprehension skill and ability to focus. I now like to grab my picnic blanket, my backpack and a book and sit on Landis Green to create the perfect study environment. I’ve been on top of my schoolwork since I deleted TikTok, and I’ve never been happier since coming to Florida State University. I spend more of my time outside of my dorm and can contribute more to my organizations and responsibilities outside of class.
Did I delete any of my other social media apps? No, I didn’t. Instagram Reels has become my new best friend when I am not reading or doing anything productive. But I am now able to decide when I can spend the time scrolling rather than doing it out of habit. I don’t easily fall into the rabbit hole of my feed anymore. I know my limits and how long I can allot time to destress via social media before I need to get back to it or find another, healthier way to destress.
I am still in the process of detaching myself from social media. I am not quite where I want to be yet. However, the progress I’ve made in school, my personal growth and my self-realization since deleting TikTok allowed me to know that it is achievable. Maybe I am out of the loop sometimes and now when people discuss TikTok trends, I don’t always understand what they are talking about. Rather than feeling left out, however, I feel renewed. I no longer need to know what is trending on TikTok or other social media platforms.
Something I found to be the most interesting since my journey away from social media was the interactions I’ve had with others about deleting TikTok. Many of those I told about my deletion of the app replied with something along the lines of, “Oh my gosh! I could never!” And while it isn’t bad to have TikTok and in no way am I villainizing the app itself, I think for those people, that can be your first self-reflection about your social media usage. Again, you can decide for yourself whether or not you even want to take a step back from it. But if it has crossed your mind at any point, just know that it is possible and achievable!
If you asked me in high school if I wanted to delete TikTok or decrease my social media usage, I would’ve said no. Even though my teacher stressed the effects of phone usage to my class, I still would have declined. In my mind, there was nothing broken, so there was nothing to fix. It took this experience to allow me to realize that it doesn’t take something being broken for it to be worked on or improved. I used to say to myself and others that I “didn’t have the time to read” and that was why I no longer read as often as I did early in high school. As you can likely guess, that wasn’t true. Yes, I was busy, but all of my free time was consumed by my phone and social media. Now, I spend a lot of time reading, whether it is physical books, blogs or online works or the news.
You can reflect on how your phone usage affects your behavior and lifestyle, and you can even decide that you don’t want to change anything about it. That’s completely okay! My limited phone and media exposure has put me on the path that I always wanted to be on, but never dared to pursue. Even such a small step as deleting a single app has allowed me to know myself and my habits better. I miss TikTok, and sometimes I still find myself scrolling to where the app was located on my phone before it was deleted. But when I look at the blank space on my home screen, I know that I made the right decision for myself.
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