Long-distance friendships are somehow both harder and easier than normal friendships. It feels like less pressure on the surface and because of that, it’s easy to put those friendships on the back burner. We think that because someone isn’t right there with us that it’s not as important to ask them how they’re doing or tell them about our day. We believe that they ‘won’t understand’ or it’s not as essential to try and include them in plans or go and see them. This happens so often and when we drift away from our childhood homes to start college or jobs, the people we promised to be closest with for our whole lives start to drift away too.
So, to my long-distance best friends, this is a thank you for not letting that be our case.
I met most of you over seven years ago. Not the best time in my life. I was the new kid, I was awkward, shy and had no idea how to do my hair. And yet, you all took me in anyway. Don’t get me wrong, it was a shaky beginning. Those first few years I really thought the drama we thought was so life-shattering was going to get to us but we never let it. Through the entirety of middle school and high school, we made it through. And oh, there were so many things. Fighting over boys who definitely didn’t like us back anyway, trying to decide who got to be bus partners on school trips, trying to learn calculus, all while running on four hours of sleep. Finding out one of us made it into a team or honors society and another didn’t, along with one of us moving to a completely new state. You name it, we dealt with it. But I think the most important thing we dealt with was learning to understand that we could be involved in different groups and keep our group strong. Being able to keep our little group together despite being involved with completely different classes, clubs and people is why our friendships are still going so strong when we all go to different colleges that are hours apart. We developed our ways to talk, see each other and check up on each other despite living separate lives years ago and I have to say, now we’re pros.
As a terribly overworked and tired college student who barely has time to check in on myself, there’s still nothing I look forward to more than getting a notification from our group chat that exists on three different apps. Even better, three completely different conversations going at the same time on all three chats. Thanks for keeping me on my toes, guys. More than that, I love knowing that every time I come home (which isn’t often anymore), we’ll find a way to see each other every day. Whether that means stuffing all of us into my living room for a movie night or getting brunch or having beach days or even coming with me to get my eyebrows done because we have to take advantage of all the time we have. Some of my favorite memories of my whole life will be the spontaneous trips we’ve made to springs, to each other’s colleges, to amusement parks, to campsites in the middle of nowhere. All the mistakes we’ve made together and the triumphs we’ve shared are things I cherish the most. Most important of all, I know that if I haven’t seen or heard from one of you in a week or even a month I could still reach out and there’s not a shred of doubt in my mind you would be there for me. I’m so lucky to be able to say that.
It’s hard for me to express how grateful I am for my long-distance friendships but I gave it my best shot. If you have friends you haven’t seen or heard from in a while but you love them as much as I love my friends, reach out to them. If you think you have nothing to relate to or talk about anymore, you’re wrong. Ask them how they are, what they’ve been up to and reminisce on old memories. It might be exactly what you didn’t know you needed.
All photos courtesy of Dana Sardina.
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