There are moments in life when after so many years of asking questions, that an answer finally reveals itself. For so many of us, that includes questions about just how the human body is supposed to work and for the masses there seems to be constant curiosity about vaginas.
‘Is this normal?’
‘Should this hurt?’
‘Why does it look like this?’
The most jarring part of those questions is when someone tells you that what you’ve been going through is not at all normal. For me, those questions – like many other young girls and women – were about our biological anatomy that arose from a lack of education provided. When I learned that my period cramps were far from normal, as was excessive body hair, acne, mood swings and difficulty losing weight, it seemed like a joke. Everyone complained about those things or were too ashamed of discussing the ‘feminine qualities’, like periods, breasts and vaginas, something a doctor once told me when I was young.
(Yeah, I was really told by a physician that it was ‘improper’ to talk about my vagina.)
But through all of that, it was finally my attempt at discussing acne with a new doctor who took an actual look at my face, really listening to my struggles maintaining a healthy weight that I was finally able to begin the search for an answer. She caught onto my excess facial hair that I had been increasingly self-conscious about and decided that she wanted to send me out for some blood work and another testing.
It took an ultrasound and an official diagnosis from my doctor to learn that I had polycystic ovarian syndrome. It’s exactly what it sounds like – cysts on the ovaries – but the disorder itself entailed far more than just pain.
PCOS can affect one in 10 women. It is far more common than I had originally thought and yet it is hardly discussed even though it often affects cisgender women and trans people.
Sadly, not even my new doctor was any good at explaining what it would all mean for a fifteen-year-old and her future. That itself turned into my job and a quick search with Google. All I got from my doctor was that it meant I was insulin resistant and could become diabetic much easier. But what she failed to explain was how it could make it impossible to have children.
I had to learn on my own that so much of my life finally led up to this one disorder of my body and that is probably the worst part of it, not only for myself but for so many other girls who struggle to understand how their body works and why.
History has told women to be quiet about their issues between their legs and it has failed to catch up in the notions of cisgender women or trans people. PCOS still has no known cause or cure and the treatments are obscure at times.
There are new issues that come up quite frequently and I repeatedly find out that they are linked to my PCOS but thankfully I’ve found a doctor who openly discusses symptoms and treatments with me. It is important to remember that you are never stuck with one doctor, especially if you feel a doctor is not making you a priority or knowledgeable on what you’re going through.
All gifs courtesy of Giphy.
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