Is everything bigger in Texas? Wait, why don’t you have a Southern accent? You ride horses to school, right? Why did you want to come to FSU? These are just a few questions I’ve been asked when I tell someone I’m from Texas.
I was born and raised in Houston, Texas. While I try to not make this fact my entire personality, I get many questions about it. I used to tell my friends how tired I’d get answering the same questions over and over. Now, I’m starting to cherish these little moments shared between strangers where I tell others about my experiences and life in a state hundreds of miles away. I didn’t realize how different things would be.
mOVING IS SCARY
My parents always talked about how they would move as soon as all three kids were out of the house. I didn’t realize how soon that would be. As my brother’s graduation approaches, the walls are simultaneously being painted. I’m being FaceTimed to ask my opinion on the new staging decor and getting sent numerous photos as my parents go through all the memories collected for the past 20 years. I watch through a screen as my room slowly loses its personality, my childhood home packed up in boxes.
Being so far away, it’s been hard to grasp the concept of not just casually “going home” for a break. The last time I was in Houston was Thanksgiving. I didn’t realize that it was my last chance to take in my whole “separate life” outside of college. I’m forever thankful for choosing Florida State. However, a part of me longs for the busy city life that Houston had. I worry about losing touch with those I love, not having a place to return to if I want to visit, and ultimately gradually forgetting what it was like.
The memories are what i will miss most
Looking back on my life in Texas, I know many places and people I fear I won’t see as often. Even going to school out-of-state makes it hard to visit home. When I finally get to go home, all the memories rush back instantly, and I feel like I’m back in high school. I drive past the restaurants, parks, homes, and stores, and it all resurfaces. Core memories spent with my family, funny moments shared between friend groups, and both positive and negative aspects of life flood my memory.
Many of my friends will continue to have family in Texas. However, the moving process has made me wonder where I’ll go. Who will take our place in my childhood home?
Our home will soon be where new memories are made with new family members and friends. That makes me excited, but what about my own? I’m so happy for my parents to fulfill their dreams of traveling and finally having fun, but a part of me longs to have a place to go back to that I can call my own.
cAPTURING THE MOMENTS
There’s so much to remember and be grateful for, but I know that now isn’t the time to get sad about it. I’ll go home in early May after finals and for my brother’s graduation, so there’s still time. I plan to capture all the little places that are important to me on my digital camera, which was originally my parents’ and now mine since the recent rise of digital cameras. My mom wants me to make a video showing the schools we attended, a tour of our house, and any little other thing that’s important to me.
I think documenting this process will be bittersweet. However, I also think that living in the moment might be the best solution. Why dwell on the negative, somber aspects of moving when you can continue to take in all the time you still have?
my next steps
Regardless of all the worries about moving, I’m so grateful to have the opportunity to show my girlfriend my hometown. My dream was always to take my friends from Florida State to visit my hometown, even if it was just for a weekend. My girlfriend, Morgan, will be traveling with me in early May to visit, and I can’t wait. It feels more real to me to get the opportunity to take someone who has never been to Texas around my hometown. I get to go to all my favorite spots because it’ll be her first time seeing them. Being able to bring back memories of Houston with someone also at FSU will be reassuring, as it won’t just be me who carries the memories of my childhood home now.
Inversely, I think being by myself during the second trip during my brother’s graduation might be better. Taking the time to also cherish my hometown on my own will bring me peace and closure. I’m sure my recent journaling efforts will be heightened as my family determines the more specific details of this moving process. It’ll also give me more of an excuse to return later with my friends not being free or in town. While that might not be the best way to look at it, it sure is helpful.
Saying goodbye to significant milestones in my life has always been challenging. I’m still unsure how this will all end up, but ultimately, I know this will be a good change. I’ll always be a Texan at heart, eager to answer any questions one might have about where I’m from, and I can’t wait to visit my friends and see everything they’ve accomplished.
See you soon, Houston. I’ll miss you.
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