Black Friday is not what it used to be. I remember growing up not being allowed to go shopping because it wasn’t safe for kids to go to stores on Black Friday. Isn’t that wild? Children weren’t allowed to leave their houses because it was too dangerous to shop. It’s almost as if it was a retail shopping version of The Purge. Now, Black Friday sales basically last the entire month of November instead of only for an intense 24 hours filled with fighting to the death for a TV.
Black Friday was violent. People were dying. Fights were breaking out all over the country just to buy a discounted pair of shoes. But honestly…it was worth it! You could get deals that were worth punching someone in the face and going to jail for — the prices were that low. If you look at Black Friday deals over the years, they get worse and worse. Stupid economy! Black Friday used to be an event where you could camp out with your family the day after Thanksgiving, drink hot chocolate, and make a game plan with them to ensure you guys got the best stuff.
Now it’s all online, and the deals are terrible. I understand people don’t want to get hurt over a PlayStation, so they choose to play it safe online, but we could still make Black Friday fun online! Take the way people fight over Taylor Swift tickets and wait in the queue for example; we could do that for Black Friday. Project the laptop screen on the TV and make it a family event! But no, instead we shop for the entire month at prices that are, what, 10 percent off? Give me an 80 percent off clothing store discount right now! I mean, even Walmart previewed their Black Friday deals online on Wednesday, which I think is crazy. They’re messing with tradition.
TikToker Anthony Koz goes on a rant in one of his recent videos and aggressively says, “Black Friday should make me walk in the store and go, ‘Holy f*ck! I’ll wrestle somebody for this sh*t.” I get it. I remember reading the news about all the brawls that would occur on Black Friday and it felt like watching WWE in real life.
As I’m writing this, it’s Black Friday. I don’t feel like I need to put on my game face or elbow my way through a store to get what I want. I’m sure the price will be the exact same tomorrow and I will get the things I need for Christmas just fine. I don’t feel like I have to wake up super early or else I’ll miss out on certain deals that will be gone by the time I get there. The same deals will most likely be there next month before Christmas anyway.
So here’s my message to retail stores: I’m prepared to fight for your products if you put the price low enough. Bring back a capitalistic Purge-like Black Friday. Now that I’m old enough to be a part of Black Friday, I’m ready to see the chaos live.
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