Rumors had been spreading about us being sent home for a few weeks and everyone was starting to get worried. It is funny now when I look back at that time because it seems like people were more concerned about having to go home than the actual reason we were going home! I don’t blame them, though. No one really knew the seriousness of the situation, especially being in our college campus incubator, or what the rest of the year would entail.
Around this time, I was feeling off. I wouldn’t say that I was homesick because that just seemed like such an extreme word to use for my situation. I definitely missed aspects of home, but whenever people would ask me, I would just sum it up to saying that I missed my life. To me, this meant I missed my routine. I missed my family, especially my mom. I missed the freedom of having a car. My classes were going okay, but one class in particular was tiring me out. It seemed like I could use all 24 hours in a day to study for it, but still couldn’t seem to get the test grade I wanted. I even missed my job at home a little. I felt stuck, literally and mentally, and I was ready to go home. I convinced myself that a few weeks at home would give me the rejuvenation I needed to return to campus in a new headspace and allow me to successfully finish out the rest of the year. When the official email came that spring break would turn into three weeks at home, my friends would constantly express sadness about the situation. I was kind of sad too, but not in the way they were. So, I faked it. In reality, though, I couldn’t wait to pack my bags.
The first week at home was amazing. It was spring break and I was so excited about the much-needed break from school. I was a little bummed about our cruise being canceled and the following week definitely proved online classes to be a difficult adjustment, but I was still just happy to be home. All of this joy turned into apprehension when another email came that we were not allowed to return to campus and that the rest of the semester would be online. I hadn’t come home thinking I would be there for five months. That was definitely not what I thought I signed up for. It immediately felt like my dorm bed was calling my name again, but it was a call that would forcefully go unanswered. I am one who needs structure. I needed a schedule and a plan. Things don’t just happen to me. They were planned. So when it became obvious that I had no plans for the summer, I fell back into a slight depression because of it.
The next few weeks would be spent readjusting to home. My sister and I argued a lot in these weeks. I think it was also an adjustment for her no longer being the only one at home. I returned to my job and struggled to balance school with work. It was different for me working morning shifts. I was so used to working nights, so having to be there at seven in the morning was difficult to say the least. I would literally be on Zoom during all of my breaks. I also did not know anyone on the morning shift. I had not worked since around Christmas break and there were a lot of new people. As weeks turned into months, it seemed like nothing was going right. My brother’s college graduation ceremony was canceled. An eight-week internship I was so excited about was canceled. My mom and I were in a constant battle about my work schedule, which led to a mini battle with my dad about it. The month of April was rough. I would say April through the beginning of May (the end of the semester) was rough. But late May? That was my turning point.
Looking back on all of the unfortunate events of the summer, I am now realizing they were blessings in disguise. I had so much set up for the summer and when they fell through, I was left with a blank canvas. I got to paint my summer in any way that I liked. And I did. Even though I didn’t go on any major trips, I still call the summer of 2020 the best one of my life. It allowed me to be a teenager again and sent me on a journey to rediscover the person inside of me that I had lost. I was constantly hanging out with my new friends, which initially caused a rift between myself and my parents. They found it necessary to give me a curfew, which was fine, as long as I still got to see my friends. We would go to work every day and then make plans there to hang out that night. We would go to this old arcade that I loved so much. We would go to the beach or bowling and end the night at Chili’s (a personal favorite)! Summer was in no way all rainbows and butterflies. In fact, July was another hard month for me, emotionally, but I got through it. My sister and I fought a lot, but then we became a little closer at the end of the summer. I am thankful we got the chance to do so because I knew she would be moving to another state at the end of the year. My parents threw my brother a fun graduation that he really enjoyed. I also got to spend lots of time with my grandparents, something I am so grateful for.
Summer really did turn out great. I don’t have to mention names because they know who they are, but I want to say a formal thank you. Summer is long gone now, but I’ll never forget it.
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