We seem to live in an age where everything around us – people, the media, culture – tells us who we should be, what we should like, what we should stand for or what we should look like. Somewhere between all these mostly contradicting forces we are supposed to find ourselves and we are supposed to love ourselves. It’s not always easy because no one is perfect. No two people are meant to be exactly alike. We are each unique and free-willed. Being accepted by others makes us feel good, so we are in this constant struggle to maintain our individuality and find people to accept us for who we are. It can be tough to always accept ourselves, but it’s the most important thing we can do for ourselves in our entire lives.
Our friends cannot always validate us – after all, they’re imperfect humans, too. Looking to our friends to make us feel better isn’t always fair to them or us. They’re stuck here in this crazy world trying to make sense of it all, too! Giving that responsibility to another person also means giving them the power to control our own lives. If our friends are always dictating who we should like or what we should wear, are we really even individuals anymore? We can’t be afraid to do what we want or like what we want out of fear our friends will judge us. Is that really even a friendship at all? We cannot always look to them for validation that we are making the right choices. What’s right for us may not be right for them, and that’s okay! Real friends accept us for all of our awesomeness and every one of our quirks. They encourage our weirdness and embrace our differences. If we surround ourselves with people who love us as much as we love ourselves, then nothing can stop us!
Courtesy: Quotesgram
We don’t need a significant other to make us feel all these things; we can validate our own existence. Making someone else’s judgements the sole basis of your actions leaves no room for you to be your own person. It can be tough, especially in relationships, to not feel like everything we do has to please our partners. The reality is that we cannot please everyone all of the time. We have to make decisions that are best for only us sometimes – that’s okay.
Furthermore, how can we depend on someone else to determine our value when they are imperfect themselves? Measuring your value compared to the dynamic thoughts of another isn’t fair. We can’t control the actions and thoughts of others and when it comes to humans, the only thing that is certain is you can never be completely certain no matter how well we think we know each other. We all hold expectations of things that can change from one day to the next. The only thing that is constant is us, ourselves. Wouldn’t it make more sense to perfect ourselves above all else? A significant other who cares about you understands this and embraces you for that.
Don’t be afraid to love yourself. You’re allowed to be awesome. Never feel bad about being excited or proud of yourself or your accomplishments. We should be on a constant quest to do what makes us happy. You want to wear sweat pants all day? Do it! You want to try a weird shade of lipstick? Go for it! You want to run a 10k? Run, Forrest! In the mood to go on an all-orange foods diet of orange juice and macaroni and cheese? Sounds great! Feeling comfortable with yourself is an amazing feeling everyone should experience all the time, every day. Go to a movie alone. Laugh really loud. Get a drink at the bar by yourself. Get two! You deserve as much as you believe you do. Don’t be afraid to set your bar high. Never settle for less than that. Don’t take yourself for granted. We have to love the people we are because if we can’t love ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to?