Coming in to college, I was a scrawny 17-year-old girl with no idea about the world. Scratch that, I had every wrong idea about the world. Everything that I knew in high school left me unprepared for everything that I would go through in college. Let’s be honest, AP classes are nothing like college classes.
Failing my first class, losing friends, and having relationships fall apart, I thought I was doomed. This was supposed to be my trial test before really being on my own. College was hard; I couldn’t imagine the real world. But I stuck with it and kept moving forward. If there’s one thing I learned right away, it was not to look back.
So I battled through freshman year. I went to football games and was constantly coming and going from my friends’ dorms. It was like we all lived together. But those fast and immediate friends slowly became acquaintances and then slowly just a memory.
Sophomore year came and I panicked. I didn’t know what I was doing with my major. I didn’t know who I was going to be. Everyone around me seemed to be so confident and sure of themselves it made me worry. What if I didn’t belong here?
Junior year was over with a blink of an eye and my feet were slowly beginning to get steady underneath me. But I had gone through heartbreak and loss and it seemed like the world was piling on top of me; the weight felt hard to carry on my own.
And now I’m a senior. My life is beginning to organize itself. I don’t have the 30 friends that I did my freshman year, but I have a solid, supportive group of girls that I can always rely on. I’ve begun to take on jobs and internships that are heading me in the direction of what I want to be. I have support. I have confidence.
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My point wasn’t to make you terrified of your college experience. In fact, it was for the exact opposite reason. It’s to give you, the young woman reading this article (and men, should there be any) the courage to understand failure and that college is full of ups and downs. Experiencing any one of these things is not unusual and it’s important to know that.
It’s amazing how much a person can change in four years and since I’ve been here there’s a few things I’ve learned that I want to share with you.
1) Find good friends.
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There isn’t a day I’m not thankful for the women around me. We get in our fights and we mock one another, but at the end of the day they’re the ones that put Band-Aids on my scraped knees (and whatever other metaphors exists for any internal scrapes I get). The greatest thing about having these girls around is that I feel stronger in the person that I want to be. They make me strive to be a better person. I’m never ashamed of who I am because they accept my for my quirks, my states of hunger-induced angers (Snickers bar, anyone?), and they love me even when I cry during The Last Song.
2) Own It.
The minute you start to question yourself, everyone around you will too. This applies to everything in your life and I’m sure this is not a new concept to you. But it was a concept I fully grasped this year. It wasn’t that I stopped caring about what other people thought, but I kind of stopped caring about what other people thought about me. This is a difficult thing to just do; there is no switch that you turn on. However, there will be something in your life that comes your way that you will be willing to fight hard enough for and this realization will strike you then. Whether it’s in regards to the job you want, the person you’re dating, the clothes you wear, or the opinions you have, make sure you stand 100% behind them. You’ll find people will start supporting you too (the ones that don’t should be kicked to the curb).
3) Befriend someone a few years older than you.
This may sound like a strange idea to you, but trust me, it will do you wonders. Where I work, there are three women in their late twenties and they are the most inspirational women I have ever been surrounded by (outside of my friends and family of course). Working along side them has really opened my eyes to where I could be in 5-8 years. They laugh and joke and their stories remind me much of what I’m going through and it’s nice to know that they have gone through what I have and still made it out successful and happy. They also know what you’re going through and give solid, logical advice you can receive from someone older (without talking to your mom).
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It’s all a little hard in the beginning. We’re young women trying to figure ourselves out. A lot of who we are is still being determined and that’s okay to not know right away. People change and so will you. Having the right group of people around you will make this so much easier for you. So go out, have fun and be happy to be young. Life is a constant lesson. I’m rooting for you collegiette, remember: confidence is key!