The month is now November, but this Florida weather still continues to make us sweat as we walk from class to class in our flip flops and jean shorts. Meanwhile, other states are enjoying the leaves changing color and the cool, brisk winds of autumn. They’re elated over wearing scarves and boots and taking pictures of their hot coffee in the new Starbucks cups while us Floridians have to sit back and watch idly. It’s disgusting. Therefore, I declare war on Florida. This is how I’m going about it.
Wearing fall clothes even though it’s hot:
The temperature says eighty, but if you truly believe, it will read sixty. Plus, if you don’t start now, you can’t wear your new BOGO booties with enough time to wear all the outfits you planned in your head. Not to mention the immense comfort of sweaters; they’re like a hug for your whole body.
Drinking hot coffee and cocoa:
It’s time to say good-bye to iced coffee. I want to feel good about burning my mouth. I’ll be damned if I don’t get to use the mini marshmallows I’ve had in the back of my pantry since February.
Pumpkin-fying everything:
Pumpkin patches. Pumpkin drinks. Pumpkin pie. Maybe if we just use pumpkins for literally everything, Florida will finally come to terms with the fact that we don’t want those nice summer oranges anymore. We want to throw a pile of dead leaves into the air during our Instagram photo shoots.
In that case, apple-fy everything too:
There might not be any cute apple orchards in Florida for you to pick the festive fruit off the tree, but Publix has a dandy selection, and you can just pretend that you harvested them yourself. Club pub forever.
Host a Friendsgiving:
If none of the above can drop the hint to Florida, then hosting a very blunt Friendsgiving should let Florida know it needs to get cold before actual Thanksgiving. So get your sweaters, cocoa, and your best attempt at a turkey, and continue the war.