If You Feel Like Something Is Missing, Read This

You might have been scrolling through your newsfeed or zoning out at work. That’s when you realized that something has been off with you lately but you cannot seem to figure out what it is or let alone, why. Your impulse decisions have been questionable and you may be feeling disappointed or ashamed in yourself. You’re not alone. Why do I keep letting myself get to this point? I think to myself as I unconsciously rip at my cuticles. I have been in a slump, no doubt about that. I seem to keep revisiting this deep, dark time in my life where I become extremely antisocial, unmotivated to complete my responsibilities, my relationships begin to wither away and I become angry over things that aren’t really a big deal. As for you, you may turn to food, or sleeping or other ways of distraction that are solely just that, a distraction. A temporary flight through the clouds of content, until you land back into that reality of sadness and anguish. What's missing is you, the true and happiest version of you.

If you’re in this situation right now I’m going to tell you something I should have told myself a few years ago. I am a strong believer that the only person capable of giving you complete happiness is yourself (even though I sometimes forget). Don’t beat yourself up because of something you did a day, a week or a month ago. There is no reason to dwell on the past because there is nothing you can do about it now. Suck it up. Look passed it. And think about today, not yesterday. First things first, in order to cleanse your mind start with your surroundings. Make sure that your room is clean. Your room should be your sanctuary. Treat it with the respect you would want to be treated with. A clean room can be just the start you need to turn your day (or maybe your life) around.

After that you will finally realize that you haven’t been putting much effort into your daily responsibilities and tasks. At that very moment is when you should make a change. Don’t wait for a Monday or the beginning of the next month. Don’t be like me and think that since you’re already down you might as well stay down. Pick your head up and get your mind right. Give yourself tiny responsibilities to get back on track. Make a schedule every day. Set a time to wake up, brush your teeth, shower, eat breakfast, go to class or work, go grocery shopping or any other activity you might need to get done throughout the day. Write it down and stick to it. Even though you do these things every day if you set a specific time they need to be started and completed it will be only a stepping stool to getting you on track of the more important things. Most importantly, make it a responsibility to recognize your achievements every week. Each week you should set a goal for something you want to achieve, whether it be making it to every class this week without skipping or applying to at least 10 internship opportunities. Once you’ve completed your goal for the week you’ll begin to remember how great it feels to actually get shit done when it needs to be done. And when you start recognizing the good in your life your failures will become a distant memory.

Now that you’ve come to grips with your own morality it’s time to mend the relationships that you may have jeopardized. If you could recognize that you have been sort of off, your friends and family probably realize it as well and probably way before you did. Reach out to them and explain your situation. No one has to understand what you’re going through in order to appreciate the fact that you want to better yourself. Be honest and let them know that you are working on you. Everyone needs help at some point in their life and there’s no one better to get it from than from the people who actually care about you. For me, every time I get into one of these moods I always fear being looked at as vulnerable or weak and I play it off like I can handle everything on my own. Something I’ve realized along my way is that I am vulnerable and I can be weak. It is a part of who I am and running from it only makes it all worse. Don’t be afraid to speak to someone even if you don’t know where to start. Once you open up to someone and free the built up hurt, pain and anger you could discover something about yourself you never even knew existed. “Unity is strength… when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved.” – Mattie J.T. Stepanek. I believe in the art of collaboration, the art of community. There is so much to learn if you put two or more minds together, mixing and deliberating. Inevitably a new discovery can be made. Whether that discovery comes to one side of the party or both. You will always continue to learn new things and grow with the relationships you keep throughout your lifetime.

Lastly it’s time to talk about those distractions of yours. These can be as simple as food and sleep or as serious as drugs and alcohol. We are in college and I know that most of our life revolves not only around school but also food, sleep, drugs and alcohol. It is totally normal to love a good-ole vodka water lime on your Thursday night at Pots. It’s a different story when the motive behind the tool shifts from having a good time to forgetting a bad time. If you or a loved one are suffering from drug and alcohol abuse don’t hesitate to reach out to the Center for Health Advocacy and Wellness in FSU’s campus. Visit this website for more information. Turning to this method of distraction is common but it doesn’t make it ok. My best advice to reach out to someone you feel comfortable talking with.

No one is preventing you from discovering what you’re missing besides you. I hope I was able to open up your mind to start realizing things about yourself and motivating you to better YOU. Love yourself every damn day and don’t ever forget it. Someone really special to me once said, “It’s not selfish to do what’s best for you.” That couldn’t be any truer. If there is someone toxic in your life, kick them to the curb. Reach out to those who you feel will help you grow. If you find yourself stuck on a bad distraction, take the procedures you feel you need to get back on your feet. No one knows you better than yourself. Help yourself and flourish in life. You are good and this world needs some more good.

All Photos Courtesy of Bianca Rodriguez