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So I turned 20 this week. Friday, Jan. 22 was my birthday. Save the cheers. We're barely making it through. Honestly, though, I have been contemplating whether this chapter in my life will be more memorable, more lovely and maybe a little bit more adventurous. I hope and pray that it is because nothing is promised, just the idea that those things are possible. So in 2021, as for all 20-year-olds, let it rain more blessings, prosperity, loyalty and serenity on us all. 

Honestly, even if any of these things do happen, how would I even remember? My memory fades from time to time, sadly, but luckily there's a solution. Why not record it, on paper, through poetry? Why not write a diary and queue down every fond memory? The little heartbreaks, tasting betrayal or having fun, the sacred adventures should all be noted and remembered. The best part about being 20 is living it the best you can, because as we all probably know and heard from someone, "You will never be this young again." 

Come on, a diary? It may sound a bit silly, but journaling is the adult term. Who's rushing to adulthood? We'll stick with the first option. 

[bf_image id="8mp3nm93ctrgttf883w8cr"] There must come a time when you learn to appreciate hearing yourself think. Other things in life can abruptly disrupt your growth or your process; sometimes, those things can be humans, priorities and sometimes even a career. Take a halt and refocus your energy on yourself. Not to be selfish but to fully live. Slow down, and don't forget to do the things that truly bring you joy. 

Things I'll remind you of: 

  1. Look through a photo album with friends or roommates. 
  2. Host a sushi night and reflect on things to improve on in 2021.
  3. Watch a movie that always puts a smile on your face.
  4. Take a walk outside and admire nature. The weather is still chilly. 
  5. Go exercise for at least 30 to 60 minutes! 
  6. Try eating something new, healthy and tasty! 
  7. Create time for yourself, compliment yourself. Whatever you do, just do it alone!  

This past year, as the pandemic forced everyone to isolate and stay home, I discovered the beauty of solitude. It was not an easy start. It took time to get comfortable, but by the end of the summer, "alone time" had to be implemented in my daily planner. So this diary was in the making for a while; initially, helping others has been amongst my other motives. Sometimes when college women are lost and confused, we need reassurance and a little reminder from time to time. We need a reminder of when things should be, how to get through them, and how to learn and grow from them. People can interpret poems in various ways, and it's one of the best instruments to reach different individuals. Plus, "poetic reminders" has a nice ring to it.

Never forget that we are learning and getting through this generation together. When your friends of color, friends of different sexualities, friends with different beliefs need you, try to be there for them. Pick a day to love them a little harder. We all need it at times. As this year starts, let's see what's thrown our way. I'm hoping we'll be ready because you will certainly hear about it in this diary. 

Jan. 7, 2021 

Despite the riots and bigotry going on in our world today. I want to be selfish and refocus my energy on health, timing and fresh cold bubble tea. Grab a cup and walk into 2021 claiming what I truly deserve, crave and have been praying for. It's okay to keep high standards, and relationships shouldn't be a test for potential. Quit praising things he hasn't already done; don't worry, one day you'll find the one. 

Poems of the Week

1. Melanin Man

Girls just want an adventure that's never over.

Not just long days of walking and tanning.

But a love that doesn't get boring,

you're either snoring,

or I'm fanning.

Yes, I'll be your biggest fan.

Maybe even create a fan club,

you don't need to ask,

of course, I'll sub.

A love like a ride on evening strolls.

Riding our bikes together, we'll grow old.

I hope I can always feel this way.

Remain this way.

because with you baby,

I'm safe.

A love where I can hold his hand, 

and he tightens his grip,

so I can know he won't let me trip.

Tomorrow we're going camping.

Yes! "s'mores, a campfire and near the hot-spring."

Being in love with you is so freeing.

I cannot imagine my world without you.

There's no way I'm letting anyone hold you.

A love that keeps you settled and mettle.

Your aura always inspires my presence.

Our laughs, so loose, not tense.

Let's just commence. 

It's okay. I know it hurts. You can wince,

after I add the Band-Aid

I'll grab the ice cream, and we can watch "the little mermaid".

Maybe if I wasn't so clumsy.

I wouldn't need aid for my band.

"it's okay." 

That's exactly why he loves me.

A love so perfect that we don't need to alter one another.

Together we just make sense, like

snow in winter.

keep him closer

I can't falter.

Have you seen his smile?

My face can't help it. I lit like a lighter. 

Under the stars,

he'll pick me up, light as a feather.

Caressing me like I'm his wife, and he's my lover.

I see a man in him,

everything he does, 

He's the perfection of melanin.

2. Rocks at my window

[bf_image id="nhkcqffnf7hm2wfqrkcvr38s"]

Your love was repugnant.

Never constant.

The things you did weren't chivalry,

Maybe I wanted my life to be like an 80's movie.

But that doesn't mean you can't work for me.

Chase me.

Show me you'd beat the respect out of another for me.

Maybe slide by with a radio.

Playing songs of love down my window.

I'm not shallow.

But I hope he has abs, though.

A girl can dream and should. 

3. Dark Rooms

life on earth is meant to crush your soul

that's why people say love's gold

when you love something

it's hard to let go

somethings make you feel as though 

your spark is something you choose

but life is deeper than a career

and you won't always make it there

but once you learn to start living

things can go beyond "just feelings."

the feeling of satisfaction itself is not enough.

We tend to be blind to some things.

"Yeah, life's tough!"

My message is supposed to bring you peace

but if you see things afar and in pieces,

there's nothing I can do to stop your tears.

Do not take the year 2021 for granted! Make time to grow, and work on yourself, and most importantly, make time to start living. 

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Rose is a senior at Florida State University, studying Information Communication Technology and minored in Education. She enjoys writing poems on life, young adult experiences, and perspectives. She enjoys handmade gifts, white orchids, and deep talks on theology and creation. Some of her favorite movies to watch are “The Little Prince,” “13 Going on 30” and “Finding Forrester”. One day she hopes to write books for young children and young adults.
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