When I went to listen to The Tortured Poets Department, I reached track 13 and knew I was in for a treat. Taylor Swift’s thirteenth tracks have given me some of my favorite songs in her discography, like “Last Kiss,” “False God,” and “Marjorie.” These tracks relate to different relationships in her life with exes, lovers, and family members. Her newest track 13, titled “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart,” has to do with a different type of relationship — Swift’s relationship with us.
In this catchy track, Swift opens up about the high expectations she faced from her thousands of fans at each show she played on The Eras Tour while managing personal turmoil. Upon first listening, it’s easy to get lost in the upbeat pop song and ignore how heartbreaking the lyrics are.
Performing for three hours straight is a hard and exhausting task that only a few of us could complete. Now imagine having to perform your set while heartbroken and having the media analyze your every move. It’s not hard to imagine why Swift sings, “Breaking down, I hit the floor / All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, ‘More.’”
The Spotify video canvas, a montage of clips from The Eras Tour, makes the contrast between this song sonically and lyrically even more heartbreaking. In other Eras Tour videos, Swift looks like she is having the time of her life. She describes how everyone sees her on tour “There in her glittering prime,” but then admits to the facade, saying, “I can show you lies.”
Swift IN TAMPA
As someone who had the night of their lives at The Eras Tour on Tampa night one, this song twisted a knife through my heart at first listen. That Night 1 show was Swift’s first show after the news of her and Joe Alwyn’s breakup went live. She had all eyes on her from the media to see how she would react.
On the day of the show, Swift looked as happy as ever as she played through her set. It’s weird to watch the videos I took that day and compare them to her lyrics, where she sings, “Lights, camera, bitch smile / even when you wanna die.”
Looking back, it feels selfish of me to have enjoyed myself so much during that show. There’s some guilt of being part of the force that had her performing and putting herself on display while she was brokenhearted.
It feels wrong that while I was having the time of my life, she was hurting enough to write, “’Cause I’m miserable / And no one even knows.” Swift always talks about how her music is for us as fans, but have we taken that too far? Are fans part of the problems and pressures that overwhelm her? Swift’s lyrics seem to suggest that this could be the case.
THE BIGGER PICTURE
Generally, it’s sometimes hard for us as fans to remember that the artists we see on tour are still people, too. There’s so much of the grueling tour experience that we don’t see. We ask our favorite artists to give, give, and give while on tour.
Many artists recently have spoken up and taken action on the toxic touring atmosphere. Shawn Mendes, Swift’s opener for the 1989 World Tour, opened up about his decision to cancel his Wonder Tour back in 2022 for mental health reasons.
Since then, he has gone to therapy, taken time for himself, and has recently started returning to the stage. Just recently, Mendes joined Noah Kahan onstage to sing a song together on the Toronto stop of Kahan’s We’ll All Be Here Forever Tour.
More recently, Lizzy McAlpine has returned to touring on her own terms after canceling the international portion of her End of the Movie Tour last year for mental health reasons. She’s spoken out about how unhappy touring made her and how she felt like no one heard her as a person.
“All Falls Down,” a track McAlpine wrote during her End of the Movie Tour, was released on her new album Older. It highlights the contrast between the tour and her feelings underneath, similar to Swift’s. McAlpine sings, “23 and a sold-out show / I am happy but I’ll probably cry after you go home.”
McAlpine has recently started headlining The Older Tour. She made changes to the tour to make it a healthier experience. Dates are spaced out to give her breaks, she has more freedom by not using backing tracks, and concert times are earlier so she can have a healthier sleep schedule.
No matter how famous the musical artist is, we as fans have to be mindful and remember to consider the humans behind the artist. They tour so we can celebrate their music together, but it isn’t an easy process by any means. Songs like “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” remind us how we can hurt artists with our worshipping of them.
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