Society often tells us that in todayā€™s cultural climate women should be more like men in the name of equality. It tells us that if we want to accomplish our goals, we should act like men in the workplace. Sometimes, it’s assumed that bearing children is not our greatest strength, but our biggest weakness. Women deserve the chance to have more if they want it. The truth is we can be both great at our job and great at being mothers, and that’s what’s important to me. As a young girl, I always wanted to be successful, but over time my definition of success has changed. Success no longer means making a ton of money. It means making a difference in my job, performing it well and most importantly being a valued wife and mother to the people in my life I hope to love most.
From what I’ve seen, the boundaries between men and women have been shifting. Hookup culture dominates college relationships and intimacy has become less valued. It’s common to get to know each otherā€™s bodies before minds. Even in romantic relationships, sexual relations can be assumed. Couples that do not have sex have become a rarity. My friends (who want to remain abstinent) have told me that they feel that if they say they are preserving sex for marriage, their boyfriends will find it to be a dealbreaker. I put it all out there. I almost always let it be known that I will not have sex with a man before there is a ring on my finger. I understand that this waiting period seems silly for many, but it is a value of mine I hold closely. I was not always so decided on this, it is something I learned when I was 17 years old. Since then, it has been clear to me that remaining celibate until marriage is something I needed to do to have the marriage I desire.
Acting and dressing modestly are something I try to do to become the woman I want to be. Fashion trends are not always the most modest, which is why they are trends and not classics. Dressing modestly does not mean covering my entire body, especially in Florida. To me, it means dressing in a way that does not draw negative attention to me. In doing this, I keep away certain types of men I am not interested in getting to know. Modesty is not only a way to dress, but a way to act. Giving others dignity and not being boastful is a modest character. Through modesty comes humility, something I need every day to be humbled.
The opposite of walking in humility is taking pride. Being prideful about who we are and what we do can do a disservice to ourselves. In the past, I have made the mistake of putting myself on the throne, leading to my existential thoughts, anxiety and depression. When I am the most important thing in my life, I can only think about myself. Focusing less on myself and more on God has brought me so much peace. But itā€™s a battle every day.
Women are so cool. We laugh, menstruate, talk, rejoice, give birth, work, participate in sports and so many other things that should not be frowned upon. Femininity is not a bad quality. We should be cautious of misogynistic rhetoric in society. Choosing to be classic in a modern world goes against the grain, especially for college women. We are told so many things that we should be, but only we can decide what we want.
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