If there’s one thing I am and always will be, it’s obsessed with Barbie movies. The sheer number of them I own on DVD is astounding, considering I don’t own a DVD player. All this to say, I’m a big fan of them.
With the disappointment toward the Oscars snubbing Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, I think it’s time we all direct our attention back to the classics and remind ourselves there’s something to soothe the ache with (at this point, over 40 “somethings”). By that, I mean animated Barbie movies. To put a little spin on this topic for my fellow college students, I’m inviting you to see my perfectly curated list of majors as classic animated Barbie movies.
Feel free to listen to iconic songs from some of these movies while you read. It’ll set the right mood.
Barbie: Princess Charm School —Engineering
I had to start with this movie because it’s my favorite. I used to watch it on a loop, so please, engineering majors, know that this is the highest compliment I could give.
I’ve never seen anyone more stressed, determined, and willing to pick themselves up when they fall than engineering majors. This is, coincidentally, what the protagonist Blair Willows spends the first 75 percent of Barbie: Princess Charm School doing. Luckily for her, the movie ends with her claiming her place as the future queen of Gardania. She lands firmly on top, just like engineering majors are likely to do post-grad.
Barbie: Fairytopia — English
If people make fun of you for being an English major, stop letting them! Have you ever considered that your “differences” might be the very thing that makes you special? Please go rewatch Barbie: Fairytopia and listen to the lesson Elina learns. I bet that it’ll help.
Barbie of Swan Lake — Dance
Is it cheating to pair dance majors with the animated Barbie movie that’s an adaptation of a ballet? Probably. But considering the end credit quote for it is “You’re braver than you think,” and I think anyone getting a degree in something so dependent on your physical capabilities seems incredibly difficult, I’d say dance counts.
Barbie in the Nutcracker — Business
If you weren’t aware, this movie marks the beginning of the release of the animated Barbie movies we know and love. I think it’s the perfect spot for all the business majors, as I imagine them as strong, powerful leaders. They’re here and they’re slaying.
Barbie as the Island Princess — Psychology
Imagine that your training has led you to this day. All of your psychology classes have prepared you for the future that lies ahead of you: dealing with Tika.
Listen, I love Barbie as the Island Princess; I have more nostalgia for it than I know what to do with. But Tika, the baby elephant who is one of Ro’s animal friends from the island, is probably the most hated animated Barbie movie side character of all time. I don’t think I have ever heard anyone say anything nice about her. Seeing as this list wouldn’t be complete without this movie, there’s no one else more capable of the job of dealing with Tika.
Barbie in a Mermaid Tale — Oceanography
I hope no one thinks I’m being too silly for this one. Oceanography is so perfect for it. You, just like protagonist Merliah Summers herself, are the “Queen of the Waves.”
Barbie and the Three Musketeers — Political Science
This is for all my political science girlies who want to change the world. You’re quite literally the reincarnation of protagonist Corinne discovering sexism when she finds out women can’t be musketeers… and setting out to be the first. You’re stubborn, unmatched, and ready to fight anyone who makes fun of you for majoring in poli-sci.
Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper — Geology or Music
I was torn on this one because there are two routes I could take: co-protagonist Erika, our musical queen, or co-protagonist Anneliese, the original woman in geology. I decided that the correct answer was both. So for all of my geology and music majors, congratulations on winning this article. I’m specifically dedicating this to those who are double majoring in an arts degree and science degree because that’s both really hard and very on-brand for Erika and Anneliese.
I know I haven’t covered every Barbie movie in existence, nor have I named nearly enough college majors, but I hope you’ll forgive me for signing off here. I have important matters to attend to. Yes, that’s absolutely code for “I need to rewatch Barbie: Princess Charm School.”
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