Dec. 14, 2003, at 8:20 p.m. is when we met. Your Cansu, your Mia. Despite the cord connecting us being cut, that’s when our strongest bond began. Even though I can’t remember, I already felt so loved by you and Dad at that moment and was welcomed into the Kilic family. I cannot imagine the pain and exhaustion you went through for nine months just for me to be my healthiest and best self, which is why you have always been the strongest person I’ve known for 19 years. You are strong in every way possible. Besides your phenomenal volleyball and tennis skills, of course, you have the powers of a superwoman.
You are the most loving woman out there. Remember when I would make fun of you as a kid because I never understood why you would tear up at every rom-com movie or some sad news? As I got older, I realized it is one of your best qualities. Your soft soul and empathy towards the people around you make you feel their emotions so deeply. Also, it slowly made me realize that I was becoming just like you as I grew up. Our hearts are beautifully delicate but strengthened by those experiences and life lessons learned daily. Your high energy and bubbly personality has the ability to turn anyone’s bad day around. Even that dimpled smile of yours always radiates and makes you shine within a crowd of people. Whoever meets you and is a part of your life should consider themselves lucky. Although I know that if someone crosses that line, you immediately stand your ground, speaking your truth and taking no disrespect from others. Frankly, sometimes I envy your ability to balance understanding your worth and not letting anyone cross that line of boundaries.
The patience you have with me is something I am very grateful for. Dealing with my annoying teenage years and hard-to-deal-with phases must not have been easy. I constantly pushed you away and struggled with putting my emotions into words where they appeared angry. Yes, we fought and argued over big and small things and would say things we didn’t mean. But you still waited, listened, and tried to understand everything I was going through with all your heart. You accept and appreciate me the way I am, and for that, I thank you.
Oh, all the endless childhood memories that I still reminisce about to this day. From teaching me volleyball to all the hours of uno card game marathons. Thank you for all the mornings of making me my favorite breakfasts whenever I would ask what I would be eating today. Comforting me when I couldn’t sleep, killing all the mosquitoes that wanted to destroy my skin in my room, or even bringing me warm milk with honey to soothe my throat from coughing all night. Thank you for always prioritizing me and nurturing me with so much care. Thank you for raising me into the young woman who continues to make you proud. And thank you for always looking at me with sparkles in your eyes that make me feel like the luckiest and best daughter in the world.
Even though I live 1000 miles away and can only see you twice a year, I miss you every day, mama.
Sending you love and see you soon,
Cansu
P.S. Don’t worry, Dad, you are next ;)
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