I wrote my first full-length novel when I was 15. I finished it at 17 and edited it to death, reworking it through three more drafts. I even begged my mom—a professional editor and writer—to offer her wisdom. By the time I turned 19 in December 2020, I was ready to offer her up to the world.
Unfortunately, the world wasn’t ready. Or rather, it was my book that just wasn’t ready (and may never be, which is okay).
The process of shopping your book around to publishers, agents and literary houses is called “querying.” You write a query letter, addressed to whom it may concern, along with a synopsis complete with spoilers and a short biography about yourself as a writer and what sets you apart.
In the letter, you include the genre, word count and what makes it “special.” I had the genre (contemporary young adult) and the word count (72,000). Over the eight months I spent endlessly querying hundreds of agents and publishers, I realized describing what made my book “special” was where I was lacking. I had to face the fact that the plot was pretty standard, with typical characters and predictable plot twists.
I refused to admit this to myself at first, though. I thought, “the more I send this out to any agent who wants books even a little similar to mine, I’m bound to find at least one person who likes me!” And I did, actually – one agent, who followed up on my initial query, asking me to send my full manuscript and give her five to six months to review.
This agent was the first and only agent to do so. I have hundreds of emails sitting in my inbox, politely letting me know that while I am a good writer and demonstrate promise, my individual story just isn’t special enough.
That’s what happens when you write a story at fifteen. I was distraught over all the rejections. After doing more research, though, I realized something crucial: these agents weren’t lying to me. My writing is good, my story is good; it just wasn’t unique enough to dedicate hours upon hours and company funds upon. There were too many stories like it for it to be set apart. It’s a risk for an agent to take on a book to publish – your job relies upon its success.
After seeing this tweet, I stopped actively querying last month. It is so hard to pour your blood, sweat and tears into writing a book. It is incredibly personal and therefore, when you get told “no,” it feels like you and your talent are being rejected. But it’s okay to “shelf” your first book. Although it may feel like it, it’s not your firstborn child. Sometimes for the sake of your mental health, you need to take a break and move on.
I started my second novel in January and have so far written 34,000 words. I couldn’t fully dedicate myself to this new project because I kept holding my first one in the back of my mind. However, once I let go, I freed up time to spend on my current work-in-progress. And this time, I think it has something special to set it apart, besides just my writing ability. I’m sad to see my first one sit on my metaphorical shelf. But as artists, we must know when it’s time, so we can dedicate ourselves to writing the actual next great American novel.
Maybe this new one will just end up on my metaphorical shelf, too. Or maybe, in time, I’ll get to see it on someone else’s.
Some resources for writers interested in the publishing process:
- Writers Beware (to watch out for scams).
- QueryTracker and Publishers Marketplace (to find trustworthy agents or publishing houses).
- Manuscript Wishlist (to find agents looking for your specific story, genre, expertise, etc).
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